Going into my freshman year of college, I made an active effort to avoid becoming addicted to caffeine. As I enter the final semester of my senior year, however, my caffeine addiction remains an unwavering part of every day.

I am not a coffee drinker, and so the process of choosing the right energy drink for me has taken a lot of trial and error. As a journeyman energy drink consumer, this is what I have learned.

Red Bull

Red Bull is great situationally, meaning that I will never wake up craving a Red Bull. The coolest fun fact I have about Red Bull is the story of the guy who won 13 million dollars suing them because his Red Bull did not, in fact, give him wings as their slogan suggested.

The different flavors do not vary much and all taste fairly similar. Though this is the case with many energy drinks, it is especially noticeable with Red Bull.

Those that go straight to Red Bull for their caffeine are either trying to ward off their caffeine addiction, or they need to expand their horizons.

Celsius

There is an episode in “South Park” where Randy, who runs a weed farm, discovers plant-based burgers. He decides to make his own out of hemp, dubbing them “Tegridy burgers.” The characters take a bite, declare “Wow, this tastes like shit,” and then continue eating.

Celsius is the real life Tegridy burger. Celsius often tastes bad and does not have the kick to the brain that alternatives do. What Celsius does succeed with over its competitors, however, is marketing.

Celsius is not an energy drink that is healthy for you. Newsflash — no energy drink is healthy for you.  However, if you state this in an open forum, those who choose this branch of caffeine addiction come running. Celsius succeeds in making drinkers believe it is healthy, but it is not. It is only trendy.

Monster

Monster is an interesting choice. Monster is Red Bull for people that like bigger cans, only Monster offers a wider variety of excellent flavors — the white and purple cans being my personal favorites.

In my brain, for whatever reason, Monster holds the same place as Mountain Dew. Sure, you do not have to be playing video games to drink it but drink it any other time and something just feels wrong.

Theo Von said it best when he stated, “I see a ton of dudes drinking Monster, and you just know they are going home to punch.”

Ghost

Ghost has by far the best flavors and widest varieties of them all. Everything from cherry limeade to their Warheads flavor is excellent. On top of that, each can contains 200 mg of caffeine, meaning it is the safest energy drink to have two of in one day. It also has a generous amount of L-Carnitine in it, which helps muscle growth, so it is perfect for gym-goers.

My only complaint with Ghost is that the flavors are just plain weird sometimes. Why does a caffeinated drink need to be strawberry margarita flavored?

Reign

In the movie “Lucy” starring Scarlett Johansson, the titular character is drugged with chemicals that allow her to use 100% of her brain. Spoilers ahead — she ends up being able to bend reality itself and becomes an almost God-like being.

They will not tell you this, but I am convinced that the chemicals administered to Lucy were actually what makes up a can of Reign. Reign allows you to use 100% of your brain.

Reign turns a three-hour homework grind into a 20-minute cakewalk. Reign can turn a depressive episode into a 225-pound bench press. Reign is what made Chuck Norris Chuck Norris. Reign raises the average IQ of a room by upwards of five points a sip — allegedly.

Reign is 300 mg of pure mental clarity. They taste great, particularly white gummy bear and Reignbow sherbert, and the red dragon flavor tastes how the final chorus of “Don’t look Back in Anger” by Oasis sounds.

The amino acids and supplements in it do actually make me feel like my head is clearer and I feel generally more at peace after one, which is an effect no other energy drinks have on me.

Bucked Up

I almost thought not to include a review of Bucked Up. I feel as though it contributes almost nothing to greater society. Bucked Up is tough on the stomach and, despite having 300 mg of caffeine, does not have all that much of an actual kick to it.

I cannot remember exactly what I thought of the taste of the first Bucked Up I ever had, just that it was shockingly mediocre.

Bucked Up solely exists to give influencers a start and for people that wear boots and jeans to the gym. You know who you are.

At the end of the day, the caffeine that enlightens your brain and begins your day does not truly matter, but I see it as a way to maximize efficiency, not ward off tiredness and headaches.

Due to this, Reign ironically reigns supreme in my eyes, and Celsius remains an item only to be consumed when someone else is footing the bill.