It is the tail end of the semester. I’ve already written an article about this. However, I was trying to instill happiness in the hearts of all people across campus. That’s not the case today.
Today, I want to practice a little nitty gritty self-help. I’m tired of acting motivated. I want to be out of school and in the middle of happy summer-land. But there are two weeks left. Exams loom in the distance, and we all have to finish those assignments that we skipped in the beginning of the semester. This puts me, and possibly you as well, in a very bad mood. The problem is, I am enjoying wallowing in my misery. I’m in the mood to complain. I don’t want to change my tune until May 10, and I’m not going to!
This morning, I read an article in the April issue of Allure about expressing anger instead of holding it in. This is a good idea, as long as it’s done wisely. So, instead of telling you all how to make the world a better place, I want to encourage you to publicly deal with your anger, stress and pre-exam frustrations constructively. As Madonna would say, express yourselves.
My idea is to embrace (if only for the duration of your frustration) a Gothic lifestyle, where moping and whining will not only get you into the cool club, it’ll make you the leader. Here are a few suggestions on how to change your life accordingly:
Wear black. Lots of it. Black eyeliner, black pants, black fishnet (on arms or legs), black combat boots-black anything. Couple all of this black with vamp-red lips and accessories. Paint your nails black and file them to points. This will help you show the world the true state of your soul’s turmoil.
Next, listen to eerie, sad, scary music. This will help you to express your inner “ugh.” If you’re not really into scary music, just listen to the Cure. Although they’re not officially a Gothic band, they’re 80s pop, which is scary in and of itself. Also the front man, Robert Smith, has weird, sticky black hair and can serve as a model for the hair options you may want to try out, should your gloom last longer than these two weeks at the end of the semester.
After this, I’d like to suggest changing your facial expressions and considering the option of facial piercing. You need to wipe that smile off your face whenever possible, unless, of course, it’s a sinister “we’ll-make-you-pay” smile. Look sad. Come on, do it.
Also, you may want to get a set of fangs to add that vampy gleam to your grimace. You can either have them surgically implanted or you can get a plastic set of teeth out from Wal-Mart’s leftover Halloween goods. Try Dollar Tree, too. Set off your spiky teeth and mean face with some facial piercings. If you’re feeling especially daring, get a cheek bolt or a septum ring. Those are the coolest and will prove most appealing to the sinister special someone in your life.
While I don’t want to encourage you to go over the edge with all of this, I do want to remind you that drama is the main key to making the best of your short hiatus into the world of unmitigated sorrow and gnashing of teeth. Play it up. If you feel sad, sit down in the middle of the library and bawl your eyes out. If your teacher heaps and extra unexpected assignment on your plate, stand up and quote one of Shakespeare’s darker sonnets in protest.
This two weeks of goth-dom is supposed to help you deal with school and stress as effectively as possible, so let it all hang out. Don’t bite your tongue when you want to complain, write a song about it and get a friend to accompany you on the synthesizer. It’ll be awesome.
So, I hope this advice helped. It’s absolutely crucial to carry your heart on your sleeve and take a no-holds-barred approach to expressing your emotions. This venting exercise will make you feel free and ready to take back those pastel-colored capris and t-shirts come summer. So go! Wear black while you feel bad, and get ready to feel good in a couple of weeks.
Joy Murphy is a senior English major.