So you’re feeling a bit lonely, are you? It happens to everyone, whether you’re single or dating someone, a wallflower or a social butterfly, a human or a dog. (If you’re a dog, first off, congratulations for learning how to read! Second, this guide is really geared toward humans. Sorry.)
Listen to music. John Lennon sang “Only people know just how to talk to people,” and he sure does know how to talk to me when I’m feeling blue. Give “John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band” (or “Double Fantasy” if you’re pro-Yoko) a whirl.
Your favorite album is a good place to start. Read your favorite book. Watch your favorite movie. Grab a friend and some popcorn. Or whiskey. Whatever floats your boat.
“But hey, what if I have no friends?” First I’d like to say, I’ll be your friend. Second: How about get a cat? Or a dog. Or a fish.  A dog will see you naked and still want to lick your face, not to mention enthusiastically jump into bed with you night after night just to cuddle.
A cat will strut into the bathroom and start purring while you’re sitting on the toilet. And if you’re a self-involved, needy human like me, that’s exactly the kind of closeness you’re going to appreciate.
Fish, though generally unaffectionate and unresponsive, are perfect because they provide a lovely blank slate on which you can project your own thoughts and emotions. “See? When he blows bubbles he’s saying he likes me for me, not because I hang with Leonardo or that guy who played in ‘Fargo,’ or because I have an annoying penchant for referencing ’90s songs” Plus, keeping something besides yourself alive will validate your own life! BONUS.
Acquire new hobbies. Burn lots of candles. Then, when they burn down, you can kill a lot of empty hours by scraping out the leftover wax and making new candles. Isn’t recycling fun and good-smelling?
Learn to crochet. Whip up a slew of blankets so you’ll be warm and cozy in this cool weather we’ve been graced with.
You know who are awesome? Old people. Old people and babies.
Go visit old people who have seen more things than you could ever dream of to put your own life into perspective.
Hold a baby. Having a baby give you his or her undivided attention breeds its own special brand of happiness. How can you be lonely with a sweet baby grabbing your ears and dribbling on you?
Go on a vacation. Being lonely where you don’t live is much more fun than being lonely where you do live. Then, when you come back, notice how comfy your bed is and how nice your house smells. Relish the excitement of the unfamiliar, and then appreciate the comfort of the familiar. If you lack sufficient funds for a vacation, go for a drive, a bike ride or a walk. A change of scenery, no matter how slight, will probably do you good.
Immerse yourself in your interests and dreams! Persevere and endure. The loneliness shall pass, and once again you’ll feel whole and fulfilled. In the meantime, Starkville’s Wal-Mart sells both fish and crochet hooks.