The Super Bowl is almost here, and it seems everyone has been spending all their spare time picking their fantasy teams and raving about how great this season was. Well, I say bollocks to that. The National Football League is still mildly entertaining to watch, but it’s a far departure from what it once was.In fact, I’m actually getting bored with the NFL. Want to know why?
Well, no. You probably don’t. But I’m going to give you a few reasons why I think the NFL lacks the intensity and dignity it once had.
Weather is quickly becoming a non-factor.
Eight NFL teams play in indoor stadiums. This is quite a change from decades ago when one of the major challenges of professional football was being able to cope with the elements.
For me, watching athletes adapt to unfavorable weather conditions was half the fun. Seeing teams attempt to survive the frigid temperatures at Soldier Field in Chicago and the blizzards in Denver was and still is appealing to me. What’s not entertaining about watching two football teams duke it out in a downpour?
Now that more teams are following the trend of spending billions of dollars building domed arenas, weather is becoming a less important part of the equation. If I wanted to watch indoor football, I’d probably go to an arena football game. The NFL is quickly becoming a larger version of arena football. When the NFL was really worth keeping up with, teams were competing against more than just the team they showed up to play, and the only athletes that went to the locker room with clean uniforms were the kickers.
Artificial turf.
Almost every stadium in the league has fake grass. Granted, technological advances have resulted in turf that is more realistic than in earlier years (Was I the only person who thought Astroturf was more harmful than real grass?). However, no one should have ever considered anything other than real grass in the first place. Football was not made to be played on carpet.
Unnecessary touchdown celebrations.
In the beginning, there was the “Lambeau Leap.” Then the “Dirty Bird” came along. Then that mongrel idiot Terrell Owens decided to pull out a Sharpie and sign a football every time he scored. Then there was that whole situation with Joe Horn and the cell phone in his sock. My next prediction is that Randy Moss will actually mark his territory in the end zone the next time he scores.
The touchdown celebration is the waltz of the imbeciles. Every time a player scores a touchdown, he has to ponder some way to prove to the world that he is a useless numbskull with no class, dance skills or brain cells. Do players really think they’re still being unique by coming up with different stupid things to do every time they score? Here’s an idea for all you potential touchdown celebrators: If you really want to be unique, score your touchdown, give the football to the referee and jog back to the sideline. You really would be doing something different, and you wouldn’t come across to your fans as some dense narcissist who demands praise and attention every time he does something right.
Overpaid players.
I could write an editorial on this alone, but I’ll keep it brief. Most of the athletes in this league are ridiculously overpaid. There’s no way that they’re giving 100 percent every game, because they’re not playing for the love of the game. They’re playing for a paycheck. Here’s a concept: If the league operated under some form of pay-to-play system where athletes were not allowed to sign long-term contracts and were paid more each time their team won a game, you’d be surprised at how much harder they would play.
The best way for this league to return to form is to get back to the basics. Football was once about dealing with the elements, not being afraid to get hurt, showing a little class and playing for the love of the game. Now it seems more centered toward modernization, multi-million dollar contracts and athletes who think it’s cool to do something stupid every time they make a good play. Until these athletes are put in situations where they can either play for the love of the game or stay home, the current trends are going to scare away fans who once paid willingly to see football the way it’s meant to be played.
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NFL: League of sissies
Nathan Gregory
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January 19, 2007
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