When I think about what makes a best friend, many thoughts come to mind. I want in a best friend, above all, honesty and trustworthiness. Beyond that, I define a best friend as someone who will be there at any time, someone who will help me recover from my mistakes, and someone who will always share with me my triumphs.
A best friend is someone who guides you forward in life, but won’t hesitate to turn back if you think you need to. A best friend is someone who knows you better than you know yourself, and makes you act sensibly when you are being carried by emotions.
A best friend is someone who is irreplaceable.
The bond between two best friends is the most amazing connection that two people can share. It is a friendship that goes beyond all other relationships, both platonic and romantic. Their relationship is almost sacred, and by far the most intimate relationship that two people will ever have with one another.
Many people will tell you that their romantic partner is, above all, their best friend.
I won’t debate the idea that two people can begin a romantic relationship knowing very little about one another and end up being the best of friends. After all, if you spend countless hours with someone and share intimacy beyond what is shared among other friends, you are likely to end up with a best friend.
But sometimes the other direction can be just as fruitful.
If you already have an amazing connection with someone, a love beyond the accepted definition, then what better way to start a relationship?
Of course, there are natural concerns. What if things end badly, and we lose that powerful friendship that we once had? What if we drive each other insane and don’t care to see one another again? What if it just doesn’t work?
Anyone who’s been a regular reader knows exactly how I feel about the “what if” factor. It’s the one guaranteed way to spend the rest of your life questioning your past. Don’t ask “what if” unless you already know the answer.
There are also some vital aspects one should consider before pursuing a best friend as a romantic interest. There’s no doubt you know each other better than anyone.
Are you going to be compatible romantically? What does your friend seek in a relationship? What do you seek in a relationship? Is that going to work? If you can’t answer these questions, or if you know the answer to these questions won’t send you falling in love with your best friend, then it’s best to put romance aside.
More often than not, we look for the same things in a romantic partner that we look for in our friends. Don’t you already have that in your best friend?
It is rare to find a lover with whom you can be entirely yourself from the beginning. It’s even harder to find someone who will be tactlessly honest with you about everything. You’re best friend already provides that. So what better way to start a relationship than to start without any secrets?
You might be surprised to find that a romantic relationship with the number one person in your life can be more fruitful than any romantic relationship you’ve had in the past. When you intensify an intimacy that already flourishes, you’re likely to realize what’s been missing in all of your past relationships.
If there is a mutual interest, don’t be afraid to pursue romance in your best friend. And even if romance doesn’t work, you’ll still have a life partner.
Michael Robert is a sophomore studying mathematics. Send your relationship comments and questions to [email protected].
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Friendships can blossom into lasting romance
Michael Robert
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April 9, 2006
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