November: the month of manliness. The month where our campus seems to have been invaded by groups of lumberjacks and rugged men. A time where a clean-shaven face cannot be seen from one end of the Drill Field to the other. That’s right. No Shave November happened.
 
Think back through history for a second. Famous and influential men like Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein and Zach Galfianakis have all sported a well-groomed beard. The Most Interesting Man in the World has a beard. George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, has a beard. Chuck Norris, an American legend, has a beard. I, ladies and gentleman, have a beard.
My own humble quest began at the stroke of midnight, Nov. 1. Fresh off my Halloween escapades, it was time to get down to business. Real men knew the turn of the month signaled a race of the alphas. The next 30 days would be dedicated to the growing of our respective beards.
 
We all knew the hardships that would challenge us. Obstacles would stand in our way. Families would object, girlfriends would plead but each of us knew that it was our God-given privilege to fight on.
 
A week in, and you can see the weak of heart fall to the wayside. Those whose facial hair grew in patchy or cannot get over the “peach fuzz” stage are forced to concede. Maybe next year, kid.
 
Two weeks in: whiskers have turned to scruff. Your girlfriend is begging you to shave before you go out in public together. But no, fine sir, you prevail. You continue your quest to grow the most magnificent beard that has ever graced this earth. She’ll get over it, and you are starting to feel like a champion.
 
Three weeks in: perhaps the most daunting challenge yet. It is time to go home for Thanksgiving and face the relatives you haven’t seen in years. Your parents beg you to look nice for dinner. They are afraid you will scare your smaller cousins and food will stick to your now excellent mustache. You, however, let them know this is not your choice, but the curse of being a man.
 
Week four: the final gauntlet. By now you have returned to school, and your professors don’t recognize you. Women are staring and thinking, “Who is this older, wise looking man I’ve never noticed before?” You are almost at the finish line, and you feel like you could stare down three lions while wearing a suit made of bacon.
 
Finally, December arrives and it is time to say farewell to your old friend. You two have become close, but all good things must come to an end. In 11 short months, November will arrive again, and our beards will come back in even more glorious than before. Remember: the one good outcome of shaving your beard is the joy of growing it back again.

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