Recently, my sociology professor discussed society’s role in people’s self-image in a lecture. She blamed society for a girl starving herself because she didn’t look like the models in magazines. Many females can resonate with this girl’s feelings, but is it really entirely someone or something else’s fault that she’s doing this to herself? I’m not condemning her or saying it’s her own fault, it’s really common, but I want to discuss the line between blaming society and taking personal responsibility.
   First, it’s necessary to define the word “society.” All of us have different perceptions of society. Strong conservatives may define society as those liberals who do whatever they want. Some people define it as pop culture, and some may think of it as the government. Society comes across differently to people of various socioeconomic statuses, race, ethnicity, religion and even geographic location within the country. But there are some things every definition of society has in common. There is some kind of majority or some kind of influence over us (in America, for the sake of this article) telling us what is the cultural norm and what is not, what is praiseworthy and what is not and what is superior and what is inferior. Society manifests itself in our leadership and our pop culture. It’s what we hear day by day. For example, society tells us through movies, music, magazines and advertisements that all that really matters is doing whatever we want to be happy. The idea of the American dream is a huge part of it.
   Now, society is not some overarching concept of “the man” or something. It’s not some supreme idea that oppresses and controls us every day. It’s in the subtle ways we think or why we do what we do. Society does not force us to do anything, it merely explains why we do what we do. Society praises the pleasure of sex, so Miley Cyrus put on quite a show at the VMAs. Society did not “make her do it,” it just told her that sex sells. Returning to my earlier example, society praises being skinny and fashionable, so a girl who did not look like that felt inferior. Society can be blamed for her feeling inferior. However, society can not be blamed for the action she took, i.e. starving herself. It’s sad, but it’s her personal responsibility to take care of herself. Blaming society for every problem we have is easy to do, and in the case of racial oppression and poverty, there is a lot they have to blame society for. But we have to take action and be responsible ourselves. Yes, we live in a free country, but that doesn’t mean we are entitled to whatever we want. Sadly, in some cases, people can’t fight for rights the same way others can. Native Americans, Hispanics and African-Americans have historically been totally cast out from society. The cycle of poverty is hard to break. Many people with disabilities can’t stand up for themselves. But where is blaming society going to get any of us? Stand up for yourself. If society tells you that because you live in a poor neighborhood, you run a higher risk of getting involved in drugs and getting arrested, prove them wrong. If society tells you that you aren’t beautiful because you don’t look like J-Lo, prove them wrong. But most importantly, stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Tell your friend with a learning disability how smart he or she is. Tell your friend who hates the way she looks how beautiful she is. Middle-class people, put some effort into not being self-absorbed in your own, middle class world and help people on the outskirts of society. When is the last time you did something nice for a homeless person? When is the last time you went to a place like Palmer Home to play with foster kids?
   Overall, rather than blaming society for the actions we take, let’s negate its influence. It’s like peer pressure — all of your friends doing something wrong does not excuse you for doing it, too. Rather than blaming peer pressure, let’s get rid of its influence. Not that society is universally wrong or oppressive — after all, society gains its influence from the actions of individuals — but let’s make encouragement and unity our goal rather than wallowing and blaming “the man.”