One of the most glaring problems in the contemporary western world is the overuse and abuse of nursing homes. It appears to many to be an easy remedy to admit an unwanted or burdensome relative, more often than not a parent. Rather than nurture the parent who nurtured them, children are using nursing homes as an easy way out. Such actions display a depravity of character and are a black mark on our society.
Our western heritage is built upon the synthesis of three traditions: Christianity, the Classics, and the Germanic element. All three emphasize family and filial duty.
Our modern culture has forgotten the ancient Roman law of Patria Potestas. Despite its faults, this law at least encouraged and praised filial duty. No one who angered or abandoned his parents could walk without shame. Note the classic image of Aeneas risking death inside a burning Troy to save his aged father: “Then come dear father, arms around my neck: I’ll take you on my shoulders, no great weight. Whatever happens, both will face one danger, find one safety.”
Also think of Alexander the Great. In one of his early battles, his father, Philip, King of Macedonia, was surrounded and about to be killed. If Alexander stood by he would remain safe and certainly become king. Yet duty drove him to place his father first. He saved Philip and delayed his own ascension. As long as he lived, the father remained the head of the family and his children respected and honored him.
Christianity also preaches the necessity of filial duty. Parents encounter many hardships and trials when raising children. It is no easy task. Yet they persevere and give to their children part of themselves. If a parent can rear a child through adolescence, then the child can care for an aged parent. The Book of Sirach, a book in the religious text The Apocrypha, tells us: “My child, take care of your father when he grows old; give him no cause for worry as long as he lives. Be sympathetic even if his mind fails him; don’t look down on him just because you are strong and healthy.”
One of the greatest character flaws is ingratitude. A child who locks his parents up and refuses to visit them is guilty of ingratitude in the first degree. As Sirach says, “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?”
The Germanic tradition, too, places a premium on family. When a parent reached the age that he could no longer fight, his value was not diminished. Rather, he was sought after and held in esteem for the experiences and wisdom he had accumulated. He or she would look after and instruct the younger members of the family and offer advice in council. Instead of being brushed aside and ignored as is the trend in our current society, the Germanic elders remained very much an integral part of their society.
Unfortunately, our culture no longer praises filial duty. Instead we praise individualism, materialism and self-satisfaction. As a result, many elders are thrown into nursing homes and too often forgotten. A visit once or twice a year does not atone for the other 363 days the residents live in loneliness.
It is a shame that our elders and parents are being treated poorly. We would do well to remember that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. How can someone who has been abandoned by his or her own children feel appreciated?
In conclusion, it is a betrayal of our western heritage to not reserve a place in our society for elders. Nursing homes are not the answer. Our parents must be a noticeable part of our day-to-day activities. Our parents must be given the opportunity to share their experience, wit insight and wisdom.
Ryan Starrett is a senior history major. He can be reached at [email protected].