Q: When my girlfriend of nine months and I started dating, she was always interested in having sex with me. We had an exciting love life, often doing the deed two or three times a day. Her interest in sex gradually waned until we were going weeks without it. My interest in sex is as strong as ever and it frustrates me that she never wants to have it anymore. Whenever I mention my frustration, she tells me that all I care about is sex or that I’m only attracted to her physically. Should I just keep my mouth shut and look forward to when we do seldom have sex or should I keep trying to talk to her about it?
A: You should communicate to her your thoughts on this issue. No matter how much she wants to avoid the topic, she needs to understand that it could ultimately extinguish what you two have. She needs to know that you would not have stayed with her for so long if all you care about is sex.
Be sincere, thoughtful and completely discreet when discussing this with her. You wouldn’t want her to broadcast it if you suffered from premature ejaculation.
Her lack of libido could mean many things. Don’t freak out and raid your girlfriend’s underwear drawer looking for the cause of her lack of sexual desire.
This is extremely common and is most likely just temporary.
As www.netdoctor.com reported, The American Medical Association recently estimated that several million U.S. women suffer from what they call female sexual arousal disorder or FSAD.
Many studies over the years have shown that most male libidos are the strongest in the late teens to mid ’20s. Females, however, are a decade off. Women are most likely to crave sex the most in their late ’20s and early ’30s. This non-parallelism is one of nature’s cruel little tricks, and it’s a good idea to learn to work around it.
There could be scores of reasons why your girlfriend has backed off in the bedroom lately. Physical problems could include anemia, or iron loss due to periods, and drug or alcohol abuse-which is definitely something you should look into if she’s a party girl.
Her libido could be low because she’s taking prescription drugs.
She could have hyperprolactinaemia, a disorder that causes an overactive pituitary gland. This disorder is rare, but possible.
Psychological problems may include depression, stress and/or anxiety. If you have noticed her personality change significantly as well as her craving less sex, it could be anything from an overload in her schoolwork to family problems.
If you think it is one of the more serious things I have mentioned, maybe she needs to see a gynecologist-especially if sex causes her pain.
On another line of thought, It is important that you do your part when it comes to the sexual favors. You could have thought you were giving her everything she ever wanted in bed, when you actually needed to change things up. This may sound harsh, but it could be the ugly truth.
If you think you can work it out together, try to, but don’t be blind to other possible causes.
This is a big step in your relationship, so go through it taking the right steps. With a little understanding, she will eventually understand that you are not a sex-craving pig if you take your time with the issue.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail inquiries to [email protected].