College is a strange period in our lives. Technically, we are legal adults, yet most of us have yet to encounter any sort of real responsibility. Many college students are still lacking coping skills and any real sense of maturity and are in no real hurry to grow up.
Remember the last time your laptop broke and you cried in frustration? Think about every stupid thing that happens during college involving alcohol, drugs, homework, sex, etc.
As a group, college students behave — up until they go off to grad school and the like — as if they were elevated high school students. They act like high school seniors with no curfew, no parents and an insane amount of freedom. Obviously this is a generalization, but it leads me to the main point: do people that cry over their roommates eating their granola bars really need to be getting married during college?
Yes, I realize you are expecting to hear the same old argument, the one about how you only get to go to college once, and that: “Young married couples miss out on all the crazy college life! They haven’t discovered themselves! They need to live life before they voluntarily tack on all this extra responsibility because you only get youth once!”
These are valid points, but what is more worrisome is most students have yet to reach a level of maturity necessary for a successful, long-lasting marriage. Those that get hitched their freshman, sophomore or junior year often lack important coping skills necessary for problem-solving in life. Marrying this young can lead to all sorts of problems later.
Think about it. These days it seems we are spending more and more of our lives in youth before graduating to actual, working adults. Most people are not out and working until they are 23 or 24, and even then it takes a year or two to snap them from college mode into “eight hour days, five nights a week mode.”
It didn’t used to be like this. My own mother was out and working when she was only 20 years old, and there are plenty of older folks who got hitched young. The difference? They had the mindset of a full-grown adult. There is not an age limit where you suddenly transform from “college frat boy” to “successful business man.”
That’s not how that works. It’s a mental thing, something decided on by each unique individual, as well as by the society’s standards at the time. It just so happens in this day and age, most of us reach the peak of maturity quite a bit later in life. Look around campus and it’s obvious that most of us have yet to let go of our childhood. Glance around the Drill Field and gaze at those wearing nostalgic cartoon shirts (Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers and Sesame Street are just a handful that have been spotted daily around campus.) It feels as if we are taking a lot longer to “grow up,” and while this is not necessarily a bad thing, it might not be the best recipe for a serious commitment. 
    
Marriage is not just a ceremony where a loving couple is joined for life. No, it’s a lot more than that. It means extra bills, extra stress, and extra problems. Not that marriage is a bad thing — it can be the most beautiful thing in the world — but let’s not deny the facts. When you marry someone else, you are permanently adding them into your life. This guy/gal is now officially part of  your family, which is not a small transition.
There is the process of moving in together, of working out finances, of figuring out each other’s quirks — there will be quirks — that one was previously unaware of. Keep in mind this person will be in your life in some shape or form forever, even if you end up splitting.
Add the stress of both of you trying to complete school, and we have a whole new area to deal with. Honestly? Most of us are not prepared to deal with the challenges of wedlock when in a college environment.
There is still a lot to be learned on our own before we bind ourselves to another person. How many college students do we think are really and truly comfortable with who they are? And of that group, how many could comfortable settle into a married life when they are only 20? Frankly speaking, most college students lack the skills necessary to make for a smooth transition.
Marriage is a huge step, a serious leap from one life to another. Once you say those vows, you are leaving your old life behind. No matter what happens after the marriage, whether it’s a long, successful one, or one with a stormy end, you can never go back to the life you once had.
Be prepared, and make sure you are ready before jumping into this pool of commitment. Before tying the knot, ask yourself, “am I ready for this kind of commitment?” Because, if not, it could lead to a long series of headaches and heartaches along the way.
Claire Mosley is a freshman majoring in pre-accounting. She can be contacted at [email protected].