When I was a kid, someone older and wiser (who was probably my big sister) told me, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.”
I am sure that for most of us, avoiding those proverbial sticks and stones has been easy. Words? Not so much.
Recently the popular radio personality, Dr. Laura Schelessinger, in response to an African-American caller’s concerns about her Caucasian husband’s family’s racial insensitivity, used the infamous “n-word” a total of 11 times. Never answering the caller’s request for advice, Dr. Laura went on to dismiss the caller’s claim as “hyper-sensitive.”
Regardless of Dr. Laura’s opinion of interracial marriage or racial issues, her use of the n-word in no way provided a solution for her caller’s dilemma. It did, however, belittle and disrespect her caller, as well as several other individuals.
I do not intend to regenerate and reinvent an age old discussion on racial slurs. The conversation continues to be a hot topic with no real resolution. I am eager to turn a new page and to move from race to respect.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Coincidentally respect is not only the title of Aretha Franklin’s popular 1967 hit, but it is also something the world could use a little more of. It is clear in the transcription of Dr. Laura’s conversation that for some reason, she did not respect her caller.
In the hustle and bustle of today’s world everyone is looking for their ideas to be heard and beliefs to be recognized. The freedom of speech allows for that. What we must remember as Americans is that not everyone shares our opinions and convictions, which is perfectly fine. The freedom of speech allows for disagreement. We also must remember that although we are not required to agree, we should respect one another’s various beliefs and life styles.
According to the old cliché, words will never hurt anyone physically, but the truth is, words can wound. Saying mean things is perfectly legal. But honestly, what does yelling obscenities or calling names do other than get both negative attention and a negative response from those opposed? Indeed, it is our right to say what we please, but I cannot hold anyone at high esteem that is explicitly insolent nor do I understand why anyone would support or applaud that type of behavior.
Surely, we can all convey our messages in a way that does not insult others. In Dr. Laura’s case, she could have clearly stated her opinion about the hypersensitivity of her caller without her continuous use of the racial slur or her condescending tone.
In the American utopia, we would all respect one another’s opinions, feelings and beliefs. There would be no hate speech, hate crimes or any hate. The marketplace of ideas would be free or unnecessary conflict rooted in rudeness and disrespect. We would all live in peace and love, with Volkswagen caravans and floral tresses. War would not be such a familiar word. More chapters of history books would end with “happily ever after.”
Obviously, the world in which we reside is flawed. Not nearly enough people know how to communicate effectively, let alone to respect individuals whose views oppose their own. The golden rule is rarely followed and continuously broken. The initial lack of respect begets disrespect in return in most situations. Disrespect seldom has positive outcomes.
With that being said, as the next generation of leaders in our communities and abroad, I believe that it is our charge to actually begin to change things that have been works in progress for decades. As young adults trekking through academia, now is the perfect opportunity to learn all we can about the world around us.
Get to know people whose race, religion, opinions, life styles, upbringing and tastes do not reflect your own. Not only will it increase your knowledge and understanding about people who are not just like you, but it will also increase your respect for individuals you would usually consider the “other.”
Ask questions, have conversations and don’t judge. It is okay to disagree and express your beliefs, but do it in a way that you would want someone to disagree with you. Be respectful.
Sticks and stones may cause serious injury; our words do not have to.
Melody Andrews is a sophomore majoring in biological sciences. She can be contacted at [email protected].