David Merritt is a junior majoring in communication. He can be contacted at [email protected]. I found an obscure and mostly unheard-of Web site the other day. I’m sure that the majority of the college population has overlooked this small dent in cyberspace.
It’s called Facebook, and it’s here to take over your life. It’s the equivalent of a tiny virus that will work its way into your system, infect your friends and leave you a sad lonely person in a dark dorm room.Prepare yourself to be replicated onto the Internet and all real socializing to come to a wrenching halt, unless you consider staring at a computer screen equivalent to connecting with people.
I would say that the majority of Facebook users are not abusers, but let’s face it: Everyone is just a junkie waiting to happen. We’ve all seen it happen, but I’ll help illustrate.
First, you take your average college student with a healthy social life and a variety of satisfying relationships. We’ll call him Ted.
Then we introduce a stimulus called Facebook and watch it work havoc on his life. At first, Ted might innocently post a few pictures and carefully tag them (that’s Jamison funneling beer, not Alex). He might decide to poke fun at his friends via the wall posting ability we’re all so fond of. Or maybe Ted will update his status so that whatever it is that he thinks is so important to do will be known by at least seven or eight Internet stalkers. But this current stage is shortlived, unfortunately. It is the first of a bitter cycle that few escape.
Before Ted’s friends know it, he’s online constantly ‘Booking as researchers refer to it, posting, looking up pictures of people he doesn’t even know and basically throwing his life away in a dark room. So why and how do people trade real life interactions for those that are artificial and online? I honestly have no idea. I love real people and enjoy talking to them in real life.
If I could go back in time and describe cyberspace socializing to people of a far earlier time, I would instantly regret my decision because of the mass suicides that would occur in order to avoid this dreadful fate.
But on the other hand, having to tell your grandkids about the good ol’ days where you actually got to talk to genuine people and have friends that you could see and have meaningful relationships with is yet a worse fate. What I really find disturbing about Facebook is how awkward it is. In real life, you don’t become friends with someone by clicking a little “accept invitation” box. I can’t help but feel like we’re reverting back to third grade and passing little notes asking the other to circle “yes” or “no” if you like them. Facebook is completely bizarre in this sense, and if you checked my feed right now, it would probably say something like: “David has decided to pursue life and has left the Internet forever. You should, too. It’s great out here. There are real people.