Have you ever found that you can characterize periods of your life by relationships? Someone will ask you a question about an event in your life and your response is something like, “Well, that’s when I was dating so-and-so, so it must have been around March 2005.”
Maybe you’re in an even worse position. Do your relationships line up so closely that you never seem to have a significant period in which you weren’t dating someone? It’s never fun to look at your past and think of different times in your life as “the Mary era” or “the Bruce era.”
With each relationship, rebound or otherwise, you do get a better idea of what you want in a partner, but you’re also cutting out an important part of life: self-discovery.
When you can easily characterize your past by your relationships, you’ve failed to get to know yourself completely. Even if you won’t openly admit it, you tend to make small-or even major-changes to your character when you are in a relationship.
If you think about it, you may find out that you’ve been bouncing through relationships because you aren’t happy with yourself.
It is vital that you take a break from relationships sometimes. You can still date and take time to find people that interest you, but don’t jump into an exclusive relationship because of your own insecurities.
Take some time to figure out what you want out of yourself, and what you are willing to give to others before you couple yourself with someone who tells you what they want out of you. Otherwise, you’re going to find yourself in a never-ending cycle of self-sacrifice, heartbreak and unhappiness.
Michael Robert is a sophomore studying mathematics. Send your relationship comments and questions to [email protected].