To preface, I’m going to ignore those songs with a signature dance move (“Wobble” and “Wop”) and focus on the go-to dance when almost any pop or rap song comes on the radio. I’m not here to bash grinding, I’m just pointing out what should be blatantly obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells: grinding is the easiest dance move to ever be created in the history of mankind. All it really involves is some booty-shaking for girls, some pelvis swaying for guys and a little bit of close squishing, which looks rather unattractive, not to mention uncomfortable. Yes, you “grind” on each other, which results in a dance move that really looks more like something one would see on the Discovery Channel than in real life. It’s too easy, people. Not only is this dance move repetitive (“dropping it low” does not count as mixing things up; neither does dance floor making out), but it also becomes boring. There is a solution to this. If we, speaking as our wonderful generation, came up with a dance move that involves more than pelvis and butt, then we’re already a step in the right direction. And if our creativity failed, we could always just go back to swing dancing! One song of swing dancing has about quadruple the amount of movement and steps that grinding does, while looking classier – not to mention it’s incredibly enjoyable. And don’t worry if you happen to be rhythm-deficient because with swing dancing it’s all about fun. If you really stink at dancing, grab yourself someone who is really good and hopefully it will even out. Still having doubts? Think about it this way:  Would you rather have your grandparents see you grinding or swing dancing at a party?  Or, to word it differently, how terrible would you feel if your thrusting pelvis was the cause of Grandma Tilly’s third fainting spell?
That’s what I thought. Look, other generations didn’t have this problem. Disco may have looked stupid, but at least it was creative. I mean, you know it’s sad when a large majority of eighty-year-olds can dance better than you. It’s not as if one has to have the genes to be the world’s greatest dancer or anything. But by golly, if we stepped up as a whole and really brainstormed, we could definitely come up with something better than bumping butts and junk. 
All I know is that I, for one, really would love to have some actual dancing come back in style. Perhaps if we had started young, all of us millions of other rhythm-deficient people would be able to promenade with the best of them. No longer would we have to hide our faces in shame and resort to booty-swaying whenever a song comes on. It’s time for a dance revolution, one with an impact so far-reaching that it shall completely transform the way we break it down at parties. We’ll have to start small, first at small gatherings with friends, then on to frat parties and other special occasions. Perhaps one day actual dancing will become so popular that even the cast of “Jersey Shore” will become infected by it. Imagine tuning in to see Snooki gracefully swing dance across the club, prancing around with some steroid-soaked meathead in an Ed Hardy shirt. It truly is an image too beautiful for words.