Great philosophers Celine Dion and Luciano Pavarotti once said, “I’d like to run away from you, but if I were to leave you I would die… I hate you, then I love you, then I love you, then I hate you, then I love you, I love you more.”
What exactly was this Canadian-born goddess with a geriatric for a husband and this beefy Italian opera singer howling about? I am guessing a moose or pasta, but these poignant lyrics explain my feelings for one thing in particular: Mississippi.
I know, I know. Just as with our mamas, no one can talk bad about “our state,” but as with any dysfunctional parental relationship, sometimes I want to get emancipated – which I think you can become by eating lots of cheese.
Anyway, I have spent six years in this state and I must say that I have come to a point where Mississippi is home. In some odd way, this Illinois-born, über eccentric and rather adorable guy has become quite comfortable going south.
But there are times when I really want to clean house.
Last week, the state took center stage in the Republican presidential primary. Even though Rick Santorum topped Mitt Romney (he also won), it was actually Mississippi that took the biggest walk of shame from the spotlight.
A day before the primary, a new poll was released showing over half of Mississippi Republicans believe President Obama is Muslim, with another 32 percent of respondents not sure what Obama’s spiritual leanings would be classified as.
Add to this, over half of the 656 Mississippi participants had a favorable opinion of Rush Limbaugh (mind you, this was after slut-gate) and two-thirds did not believe in evolution.
Rounding out this public relations nightmare, almost 30 percent of those who took the survey felt interracial marriage should be illegal.
I watched one journalist report these results on television and in the background you could hear the gasps from the show’s hosts. Mississippi was again becoming a punch line.
I hate being the butt of a bad joke, and, for a brief moment, I detested the fact I live here.
It’s too hot already. Pollen is everywhere. And what is the deal with those damn Chacos that everyone wears even with nice outfits?
Mississippi, I am not Gavin DeGraw; I am over you.
Okay, maybe I’m not.
This state has some abhorrent misgivings, ones that needed to be reversed 60 years ago, much less today. Yet, I have chosen to stick around.
There’s something about this place that is hard to find, and, no, I am not talking about a mall. It’s that feeling of family you can develop so easily with your friends and colleagues that make you forget one or two of your cohorts may have antiquated opinions.
I truly think a majority of the people on this campus would not agree to such questions and I hope they can go forth and multiply their intelligence. Let’s hope a Darwin-like survival of the smartest can win out and this state can start playing an intellectual game of catch-up.
We can no longer get by on believing things that are simply untrue or outdated. We are so much better than that.
But why are there many in this state that bypass the theory of evolution, one that is supported by almost all in the scientific community, but believe so strongly in a myth about the U.S. president? Because regardless of whether you’re in Mississippi or Massachusetts, we are all one big contradiction.
The only difference being that we are hypocritical with a smile and still ask about your family.
If I had to choose between being a mean hypocrite or a polite one, I would totally take the Mississippi version.
I sure love you, Mississippi, but you can make it harder than herdin’ a bunch of cats to do so. Bless your heart.
Patrick Young is a graduate student in public policy and administration. He can be contacted at opinion@reflector.msstate.edu.