The advice given in the recent Reflector articles concerning sexually transmitted diseases is flawed. They send the message that having multiple sexual partners is permissable as long as it is safe. A student can justify an active sex life if he is responsible. Being responsible, the articles argue, means being tested for STDs.
However, those who practice abstinence need not be concerned with STDs. No test is necessary with its accompanying period of nervousness, unknowing and fear.
Once upon a time our society promoted abstinence until marriage and then fidelity. Now we encourage an unmarried state of polygamy.
The simple solution to sexually transmitted disease and unwanted pregnancy is to abstain from sex until marriage.
Chastity is a virtue that falls under temperance. Practice of this virtue is an attempt to balance passion and reason.
A person who goes around constantly fulfilling his or her desires is nothing more than a sexual predator. Indeed, Aristotle calls such people bestial because they are unable to conquer their animal nature.
Chastity, on the other hand, is a perfection of self-discipline. Granted, acquiring the virtue is a struggle, particularly during youth.
But, the end result is a continent person-a person who does what is right despite the struggle.
To those who practice abstinence until marriage, the reward is worth the wait. Such people do not bring haunted and scarred hearts to their union. Emotional baggage, memories of past lovers and fears of STDs do not concern the couple.
Fortunate is the couple that exercised self-mastery even before they knew each other.
I do not intend to downplay the role of sex. It has been said that sex inside of marriage is 50 times as important as we now think it is. Piux XII writes, “The Creator himself …. established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit … The spouses do nothing evil in seeking this please and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them.”
It is obvious that sex is of the utmost importance in a relationship, but it is not everything. A frienship ought to develop while sexual desires are placed on hold. Those who rely on sex to give them confidence and acceptance live a lie.
Consider James Michener’s comparison of Hemingway with other great men. Time magazine printed an article in which Hemingway claimed that “as long as man’s juices were running, he was in good shape” and boasted to the world that his were still running.
Michener explains that at the end of his life Hemingway became a depressed man whose juices had stopped. He was having no sex and no fun, so he killed himself. “I’ve got to compare him with men like Verdi and Michelangelo and Hokusaki, who never talked tough, but who did their best work when they were old, old men. To them there was something superior to the running of the juices.”
Although sex is a blessing, it is meant to be used in the sacrament of marriage. Those who have a healthy view of sex and practice self-discipline will choose to honor themselves and their future spouse by waiting. Such people are an asset to our society.
As Gaudium et spes tells us, “Chastity requires a cultural effort, for there is an interdependence between personal betterment and the improvement of society.”
Is is best to have no fear of STDs and this is accomplished through abstinence. Ramon Llull tells us, “He who loves not lives not,” while the apostle Paul tells us, “Love is patient.” Marriage is worth the wait.
Ryan Starrett is a senior history major. He can be reached at [email protected].