How selfish do you think you are? Most of us would answer that laughingly, owning up to our selfishness, while still thinking silently that we’re not that bad. After all, there are much worse people out there, right? Well, maybe. Or maybe those “worse” people have just been given more freedom to exercise their selfishness. Perhaps we all have the potential to be that self-centered.
Selfishness is defined as being “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.”
When we think of selfishness, we tend to focus especially on the first part of that definition. We idealize a selfish person as being one who cares only for himself or herself to the exclusion of all others, and we think of that person rather negatively. No one desires to be labeled selfish.
But selfishness can be extended to describe more than just those who are blatantly self-centered. I want to focus on the second part of that definition, the part that says selfishness is being “concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” By that definition, we’re all selfish.
Think about it. What do our lives, especially in America, center around? Our own comfort. Our own well-being. Our own amusements and pleasure. We are a selfish people.
We need to expand our idea of selfishness to include more than just self-absorbed people. There is a difference. You can be selfish and not self-absorbed, although the two are often partnered.
Think about your normal day and how you spend it. What do you do all day? What motivates those actions?
I have evaluated my day and found that most of it is spent pursuing things that please me. The things I choose to do, the ways I spend my money and free time – just about every decision that I make is made based solely on what I would like to do. I would imagine that most of you are the same.
Is there anything wrong with this? No, not at the basic level. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with choosing to purchase things you like or to do things that you like to do.
Recall the end of that dictionary definition, though: “regardless of others.” Who exactly are the “others?” Are they your friends? Family? Acquaintances? People you don’t even know?
Many times, we think we are being unselfish by letting someone else pick where we are going to go out and eat or what movie we are going to go see. When we don’t force our will on people, we believe we have subverted our own selfishness.
And perhaps we have, to an extent. But there is more to consider. Think again of how you spend your time and your money. Most of it goes toward your own amusement or your own needs, right? Things for yourself.
This is a list of global priorities in spending in 1998 (from www.globalissues.org):
$8 billion – Cosmetics
$50 billion – Cigarettes in Europe
$105 billion – Alcoholic drinks in Europe
Now consider some of these statistics (from www.globalissues.org):
Half the world lives on less than $2 a day. That’s nearly 3 billion people.
The Gross Domestic Product of a quarter of the world’s countries is less than the wealth of the world’s three richest people combined.
Thirty thousand children die every day due to poverty, according to UNICEF.
Twelve percent of the world’s population uses 85 percent of its water, and the 12 percent do not live in Third World countries.
That’s quite a lot to think about.
Most of us live our lives for our own comfort. Some people can’t do that. Some people can’t even obtain their basic needs, much less other comforts or pleasures.
Think about these other people – people here, people in other countries, those you know, those you don’t. We can all help someone in some way. Money isn’t the only useful object, either. You can give time, possessions, food – there are limitless opportunities, if you seek them out.
Giving up some of your own pleasure or comfort to benefit another is always worth the cost. Would you spend your life completely on yourself, seeking only what benefits you? I believe that would be a very sad life, indeed.