I actually don’t want to give advice so much as debunk some myths I’ve heard and encountered over and over again in my limited (please let me stress that “limited” again) experience. There’s a lot of false information floating around out there, and I’d like to just take a moment in this special issue and address a few things.
Myth: Men are always ready to get it on.
Men’s sexuality is something our society is ridiculously comfortable with. Everyone’s heard some sort of statistic about how men think about sex every second of the day, or something like that. And yes, men are sexual beings, but guess what? So are women. That’s because we’re all humans, and the only reason any of us exist is because of sex, so we’re all sort of programmed to do it. Many women think that men are perpetually horny, able to become erect on cue faster than it took me to start crying during “Titanic” 3-D (which was during the opening credits). Men do require less foreplay than women (women require about 20 minutes of foreplay!), but they also have other things on their minds sometimes. I’ve heard that sometimes men even experience these things called emotions, and they put thought into them before putting themselves into someone. While men might be thinking about sex more than women, they’re not weird sex cyborgs.
Myth:Women are clingy.
In the same way men aren’t emotionless robots, women aren’t mushy, sad, puppy-like creatures composed of used tissues and rainbows, set to the score of a Lifetime Original movie. If women are more predisposed to emotionality, it probably has something to do with babies. Babies come out of women (I’ll explain later). However, for all the time we’ve spent crying in produce aisles, women can be just as cold and callous as the lead male in a 1960s French film. It’s equally easy, or difficult, for women to have sex purely for the physical reason. So there you have it, fellas. Not every lady you take to bed is going to fall in love with you right away, but be careful about those babies.
Myth: Once a man gets started, he has to finish.
Everyone’s heard about “blue balls” and the impossible pain a man has to endure when his erotic arousal is not brought to fruition. There is a buildup of fluid in the glands near a man’s scrotum during arousal, and it’s uncomfortable but if either partner, however, at any point wishes to stop, the other must abide. Men don’t get some sort of “blue balls” hall pass which requires women to appease them no matter the situation. Men, toughen up. You’re going to get off eventually. Ladies, if you feel bad asking your man to stop mid-thrust, you could always start talking about those babies I mentioned earlier. If there’s one thing I am an expert on, it’s killing the mood.
Myth: You can tell if someone has an STD.
Some STDs are very visible, and I urge you not to Google it. However, many STDs are not obvious, no matter how up close and personal you get with someone’s junk. Be safe, kids. Use your better judgment, get tested and always use protection.
Myth:You can’t get pregnant if you use the “pull-out” method.
Come on, you’re in college. You know better than this. Watch an episode of “Teen Mom” and see if you still don’t feel like using condoms.
Myth:Too much sex makes women “loose.”
The only thing too much sex can do to a woman is garner criticism from Rush Limbaugh. Like chocolate, sleep or kittens, you can’t have “too much” sex. While vaginas will stretch to accommodate the penis during sex, they go back to their previous condition almost immediately afterwards. Vaginas even go back to “normal” after childbirth. Add it to the list of amazing things of which vaginas are capable. If women really are concerned, they can exercise their PC muscles to gain more strength down there.
Myth:The same positions work for everyone.
Movies would have us believe sex always looks the same, but it just isn’t so. Everyone’s bodies are different, and they work differently with different people. Whether you have many partners or just one, experiment and figure out what works best for both of you. (Emphasis on the word “both.”) There are a lot of positions out there, so have some fun with it.
Overall, the biggest myth I want to debunk is that sex is the same for everyone. While sex is one thing we all have in common as humans, it affects each of us differently. Figure out sex for yourself, enjoy yourself and don’t believe everything you hear. That’s about as much advice as I can give. Good luck. Always be safe and be happy, or try your best.
Categories:
Sex myths, misconceptions debunked, explained
April 10, 2012
Before I begin this much- anticipated list, I’d like to go on record and state I am not an expert, or a “sexpert” if you will, in any sort of way. As far as the amount of sex I’ve engaged in, I’m somewhere between Snow White and Michael Fassbender’s character in “Shame.” Just interpret that as you will. Most of what I know about sex has been learned from a combination of conversations among friends and late-night HBO programming. But here I am, giving sex advice in this most public and worthy of forums.
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