Matt Watson is the opinion editor at The Reflector. He can be contacted at [email protected].The state of Louisiana has become the national leader at solving what lawmakers are viewing as an epidemic in this country.
The epidemic being hotly discussed at this hour is not lung cancer, a lethal strain of the flu or HIV. It is a different kind of epidemic, a social epidemic. Of all things, it is a dangerous teen fashion statement – sagging pants.
If you’re caught in Jefferson Parish, La., with your pants too low for lawmakers’ tastes, you could be penalized with a fine of up to $500 and a possible six months of jail time.
Many other towns are following suit, including Shelby, Miss.
Over the weekend, I was consistently amused when reading quotes from aldermen in Shelby, who take the sagging pants issue very seriously.
In a recent Associated Press article, Alderman Curtis Hooper is quoted as saying, “If we don’t do anything, then it will only get worse.”
Of course. We all know that if we give youngsters an inch of freedom, they’ll soon be streaking around like a bunch of darn liberals.
“They don’t allow it in the schools – why should we allow it on the streets of our city? Other cities are doing it and so should we. I think we need an ordinance about this. This is serious,” he said.
Right on, Cooper. But why should we stop with sagging pants? When I was in grade school, we had to ask for permission to eat and go to the bathroom. Certainly, we should apply the same rules to the general public.
And if other towns decide to enforce these types of rules, it must mean it is the right thing to do.
For instance, lawmakers in Delcambre, La., are trying, like Jefferson Parish, to pass a $500 fine and possible jail time.
Lawmakers in Stratford, Conn., have recently proposed a $250 fine on low-riding pants. And although Virginia lawmakers have failed to take the issue seriously, with only a $50 fine, at least they are taking some action on such a pivotal era of American history.
Oh, wait. I just thought about something. What about plumbers and construction workers who display their bottoms even in the middle of dead winter in order to assure we can all live in nice houses and flush our toilets?
“We’re not out to get plumbers whose pants creep down while they’re working on your pipes,” said one Stratford, Conn., councilman.
OK, that’s good. I feel better now. That was a close one.
This issue brings to my mind other experiences in which critical rules were enacted.
For example, when I was a student at the University of Raymond (also known as Hinds Community College), the rules were simple. Most offenses, such as using profanity in the cafeteria and not having your identification card visible at all times, would carry a $25 fine. Heck, I probably could have killed someone only to be fined 25 bucks.
And we shouldn’t forget the city of Madison, whose mayor has commendably ensured that citizens and visitors, including the president of the United States, aren’t at risk of seeing any edifice that isn’t earth tone compliant.
American citizens are always subject to hearing talk of war, poverty, health care and education. Hats off to Shelby and other concerned towns for identifying the real problem this country faces.