Marriage is a word that holds significance for many people, while for others it is simply a word. Most people aspire to find the partner of his or her dreams and someday commit to marriage. Between the constant debates on who should be able to marry and the alarming rate of divorce, the United States is not exactly a poster child for marriage.
I feel in today’s society there is not as much emphasis on the institution of marriage. The rate of matrimony has decreased to historic lows. In 2013, the national average of marriages per 1,000 single women was 31.1 percent, in comparison to 92.3 percent in 1920. Since the 1920s, the drastic decline in marriages is due to notable changes in our nation such as women’s rights, civil rights and shifts in moral values.
Social stigmas associated with divorce, having children out of wedlock and premarital sex are becoming things of the past. With these stigmas decaying, there is less urgency and pressure to marry. In addition to moral changes, today’s society is shifting from a family mentality to self-mentality. For example, a man or woman will focus on his or her career and what her or she can accomplish. In past generations, creating a family was more important than self-ambition.
Fifty percent of marriages in America end in divorce. This startling statistic raises the question: why do marriages fail? There are numerous reasons, but I will focus on three. First, people marry for the wrong reasons. Marrying for money, looks or social status will rarely keep a marriage together. When the money is gone, the looks fade or the spouse is no longer a public figure, there is little motivation to stay in the relationship. For example, if a professor takes no attendance, does not count grades and at the end of the semester gives no class credit, would you still attend the class?
Second, some people are not willing to commit and work out problems within the marriage. No relationship is perfect. Long-lasting relationships need work, love, compromise and sacrifice. When reconcilable problems arise, heading to court should be the last option — not “plan B.” Reasons for divorce range from justified to ridiculous. Snoring too loud, being too nice or not liking the way someone chews his or her food are not valid reasons to end something intended to be a lifelong commitment. Divorce rates could be cut marginally if couples truly got to know each other, communicated their expectations and identified individual faults before marriage.
Third, there are individuals that do not fully understand what marriage is due to their environment, upbringing or past experiences. For instance, growing up in a single parent household may limit one’s perspective on how a married couple interacts with each other. Occasionally, limited perspective translates to not knowing how to be good spouse. Unfortunately, this creates a vicious cycle of people growing up without knowing how to have a successful marriage. These individuals have children who inevitably fall into the same category.
Marriage is not a fairy tale. It requires dedication, compromise, sacrifice and love. Many married couples attest to hard times within the span of their relationship. The true test of marriage is how two individuals can overcome trials and still support each other. I feel our society has lost focus of what marriage is and how to make it last. For anyone considering jumping the broom in the future, know marriage is a lifelong commitment. The vows at the ceremony mean something; challenge yourself to uphold these vows and be true to your spouse.
