I am always ecstatic when I see our schools and community working to raise awareness and combat a serious issue such as sexual assault that has long been a taboo topic to discuss. But, of the countless sexual assault brochures I’ve read, almost all of them appear to place the responsibility on preventing sexual assault on the woman.
For example, brochures titled ” Rape: Am I at Risk” by ETR Associates, and other brochures by similar organizations, list ways women can prevent or reduce their chances of rape – by not going out alone or late at night, never leaving their drink unattended or accepting drinks from a stranger, staying in well-lit and avoiding isolated areas, avoiding being alone with someone they don’t know very well, being careful of the way they are dressed – so on and so forth.
I don’t have a problem providing women with safety tips and information, but seeing this advice appear time and time again often makes me think that we are placing too much responsibility on women to prevent rape. Focusing on ways to reduce the chances of sexual assault only reinforce the myth that rape is the victim’s fault. Think about it. If we are constantly telling women ways to prevent rape, are we not subconsciously telling them that it is their responsibility to make sure someone does not attack them? Are we not implying that if they are assaulted, they are somehow at fault or partially responsible for the attack if they did not follow prevention advice or engaged in activities that put them at risk?
When we vigorously question a victim’s actions and not the rapist’s, we are only fueling the victim-blaming ideology and upholding rape culture. Each time we point fingers at the victim instead of the rapists, we fail to hold offenders accountable for their actions. In a study by the Havens, a sexual assault referral center in the U.K., the majority of respondents said victims bear responsibility for rape in some cases. Fifty-four percent of the women surveyed said victims were partially responsible for their rapes.
We need to teach men not to rape instead of telling women not to get raped or how to carry themselves. When two high school football players in Ohio were convicted of raping a 15-year-old girl, I read and heard many comments from people saying the victim was at fault because she was passed out drunk. Really? So because she was unconscious, she is responsible for the decision that the two boys made to attack her? Additionally, I’ve even heard people say the victim should also be charged with underage drinking because if she was not drunk the attack, would not have happened. Again, drinking does not cause rape. It does not matter what the victim was doing or what she was wearing. The decision to rape is the perpetrator’s. Men should be offended when they hear people talk about how women tempt men to rape them.
If we truly want to end sexual assault, we need to start by shifting responsibilities onto offenders instead of victims. When we stop shielding rapists from their actions, only then will we be able to rest peacefully at night knowing our mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and even our grandmothers are safe.
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Sexual assault awareness month raises bigger issue
Kimberly Murriel
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April 17, 2013
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