Q: Lately I have been fantasizing about my boyfriend’s roommate whenever we’re getting busy. His roomie is really good-looking, but I love my boyfriend. What does this mean?
A: Typically you hear about men fantasizing about other girls, famous people or threesomes with their girlfriends. Guys, listen up. This goes to show that males are not the only visually stimulated organisms. Women can have fun in their dome pieces, too.
The best part about fantasizing is that your boyfriend doesn’t need to know. Don’t be alarmed. Although many girls don’t admit it, we, too, daydream about other men, even if we have boyfriends.
It’s not a strange habit, and should not be poorly looked upon. So what if you picture yourself riding on a motorcycle with Vin Diesel? And so what if your boyfriend pictures being one of Britney Spears’ backup dancers.
The good news is that by having these fantasies you aren’t being unfaithful. The bad news is, however, that if you keep having the same ones over and over again, it could be more than just harmless fantasizing.
If you’re merely physically attracted to your boyfriend’s roommate, please proceed. But proceed with caution. There’s no need to terminate your relationship by belting out his roommate’s name in bed. Other than embarrassing your beau, his roommate might run in thinking something’s wrong.
If you’ve found yourself with deeper feelings for him than you had expected, you need to re-evaluate your relationship.
Go with your gut on this situation. Your instincts are more likely to tell you whether these fantasy episodes are just a bizarre stage, or whether you need to back off your boyfriend. Just remember-getting together with your boyfriend’s roommate instead is not an option.
Q: I recently started dating the guy of my dreams. I know he’s going to ask me how many people I have slept with, and I’m not proud of the number. Should I lie so he doesn’t freak out and run off?
A: By not adding your new great guy to your rather large list as quickly-or at all-you can bypass this same possible dilemma in the future.
The truth can be told, but the truth can hurt. If it’s going to eat away at your conscience for the next decade, fess up. What’s the point in talking about it anyway if you both deeply care about each other? It all depends on whether you believe you have a future with your new man, and if that future should rely on the past.
If you’ve been checked out by the gyno and no harm was done by your past mattress encounters, then maybe he doesn’t need to know exactly how many people you’ve slept with. Is he willing to tell you the complete truth about his past lusty nights? If you think it might surprise him beyond his years, maybe you don’t need to reveal everything.
Lying is an option, but so is being honest with someone you want a more meaningful connection with. Will he seriously consider your numbers if he truly wants a monogamous relationship with you? You need to explain your justifications to him if you decide to confess the truth. Were they all huge mistakes, or did you seriously care about the people you went to bed with? He may not initially understand, but he should eventually relax once he sees that you now only have eyes for him.
Is it absolutely necessary for you two to divulge this so-called critical information? Maybe it’s just a better idea to lock those useless recollections of other guys in a box in the back of your mind-only to visit when you’re bored, of course. Then both of you can continue on a new journey on which you can make your own wonderful mattress memories.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. Send questions to [email protected].