I am not anything remotely close to a business major, so I have to admit that I know very little about marketing and understand even less. However, I have noticed a recent trend among consumers and thought I should bring it to the attention of everyone who might be looking to make a huge profit from marketing a new product. My observation is simply this: If you label an item with the words “natural,” “herbal” or anything associated with either term, hoards of people will want to own it or use it.
I think the scam started when bottled water hit the market. People bought it like it was some magical elixir instead of the very same substance that they could get for free from their own taps at home. But since it comes in a bottle it must be more special than the stuff I’ve been drinking all these years. “Natural Spring Water” the labels all claim. As opposed to what-unnatural water? People read far too much into it, which was probably what the marketers intended.
The bottled water thing is still going strong and has since spread to practically any product you can think of. Not long ago, I came across some people drinking tea at a local establishment. I asked if they were from up North, since hot tea seems to be a standard among the heathen. They were not, and I was informed that it was herbal tea they were drinking. I asked if it was good, since they all made awful faces every time they took a sip. Then (since I can never leave well enough alone and none of them looked fast enough to catch me if they took offense) I posed a simple question. “Regular tea plants are, technically speaking, herbs too, so wouldn’t all tea, including ice tea be herbal tea?”
They were obviously miffed and stated that this tea was a special blend of herbs, was very relaxing to the mind and body, and nothing at all like regular tea. I backed out of arms reach and asked, “Could that be because your tea doesn’t have caffeine in it and regular tea does?” I was right of course, none of them was fast enough to catch me, but I did narrowly miss being scalded by the hot tea flung in my direction.
The trend is most prevalent in the bath and beauty market. You can’t find plain soap or shampoo anymore; now it’s herbal this or extract of that. What on earth do cucumber and seaweed do for my hair anyway? I remember a time when I could come out of the shower simply smelling clean and soapy. Now I walk out smelling like a salad. I’m afraid to visit a farm or walk in the woods, out of concern that one of the animals is going to try to graze me.
If you own any of these fine products, read the label sometime. I did a little experiment with shampoos. No matter what the shampoo is, they all have water and sodium laureth sulfate as the primary ingredients. I also learned that when listing ingredients, manufacturers list them in order from greatest to least amounts in the product. In other words, the farther down the list, the less of the ingredient the product actually contains.
The seaweed extract in my shampoo is way down the list, right above yellow dye No. 5 and fragrance. (They have to add the fragrance, because they don’t want you to know what seaweed really smells like.) Basically, there isn’t enough seaweed extract in my all-natural and somewhat expensive bottle of shampoo to deep clean and refresh the hair under one of my arms, much less my entire head.
I am reminded by well meaning people that our ancestors and the native people of many countries use natural, herbal stuff, and that makes it good for us to use. What a crock. They only use it because they haven’t figured out how to make sodium laureth sulfate yet.
My great-uncle used to make an all-natural product from corn extract, deep in the woods behind his house, and a lot of good it did him. The authorities destroyed his little laboratory, and sent him on an extended vacation to a federal penitentiary.