What if?
Two little words have changed history, driven the past through the present and into the future, and allowed people to think beyond what lies on the surface. Those two little words can allow people to discover things about themselves and their lives that they might not find out without asking questions. Unfortunately, those same two little words can bring about insecurities, frustrations and the demise of relationships.
“What if?” is a question that we allow scientists and artists to ask on a daily basis because when they do, the potential for genius creations is unleashed. When they answer the question, they normally produce something remarkable, or at least something that allows us to change the way we think about everyday life. Even when we ask the questions in our own lives, we become capable of finding out that life doesn’t have to be as it is. We have the chance to change our lives simply by taking a risk, but we have to remember that “what if” cannot be used in every situation.
The question can be rather harmless when utilized carefully; when used without care, it can generate confusion and bring about heartache.
The biggest problem with asking “what if?” lies in what happens when you go searching for the answer. When you begin looking, you start to lose touch with the present. You spend so much time trying to find out what could be that you aren’t remembering to enjoy what actually is.
More often than not, whatever you’re chasing after isn’t going to be worth leaving what you have.
We seem to think that because something seems amazing at first glance that it will be amazing all the way through, when indeed we know that is not always true.
Our minds can’t seem to comprehend clearly once they begin to act upon the “what if” as soon as it arises. Then we, blind to everything that exists around us, go chasing after the “what if” until we realize what has happened. We’ve been chasing an idea, a vision of sorts. What we saw isn’t what really exists.
Meanwhile, what we left at home has moved on without us, and that leaves us without anything at all.
Take a moment and try to envision a relationship in which everything seems to be going well. Of course there are little problems, minor bumps in the road but in the broad view, everything is going along nicely. That is, until a former companion re-enters your life and you find yourself debating another attempt with him/her. Obviously the relationship didn’t work out the first time, but now you find yourself asking “what if things are different this time around?” With time, people change, sometimes. Maybe this attempt will produce different results?
Maybe. But is “maybe” worth ruining a presently good relationship for? What happens if “maybe” becomes “not again?” It would be best to invest serious thought before making any decisions in the matter, but even then you could find yourself taking a risk that may not be worth the trouble.
Of course, everyone’s attempt to answer “what if?” doesn’t always end the same way. Some are successful. Some risks are taken and the rewards are well worth the risks. Sometimes the question can be asked and answered without anyone getting hurt.
If you, as a single person, find yourself questioning the past and wondering how something might work out now, you have the opportunity to answer the “what if” without causing too much trouble. Your answer may not be the one you want, but at least you haven’t caused any damage in the process. The most you lose is a little bit of time and perhaps a few nights of sleep. And you won’t spend your remaining days wondering what could have been.
It’s important to ask questions. It’s vital to question aspects of our lives, but we need to be responsible enough to ask those questions before we begin dragging others into our confusion. We have to weigh the possible consequences with the possible rewards, remembering that it is all still “possible.”
Don’t spend your whole life wondering “what if” and never seeking answers, but don’t spend your life constantly chasing answers to “what if” and forgetting about all that is. You don’t want to look back on your life and realize that you never enjoyed anything because you were constantly seeking something better.
Michael Robert is a sophomore studying biological sciences. He can be contacted at [email protected].