It is 1:30 a.m. I have brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas and gotten into my noisy bed in my cozy dorm room. My roommate and I are bundled up in our cute, $5 snowflake-covered blankets from Walmart, and we are more than ready to sleep and catch up on some much needed rest.
Luckily, we go to sleep at the same time, so there are no awkward can-you-please-turn-off-the-light-so-I-can-sleep moments. We close our eyes and get comfortable.
Things go quiet. And then, all of a sudden, I can hear everything: a girl talking to her probably-boyfriend on her phone right outside our room, toilets flushing, showers dripping, laughter from down the hallway, my neighbor’s television playing a rerun of “Jersey Shore.”
I watch the clock run minute by minute for half an hour. I am still not asleep.
The girl talking on her phone outside my door is still continuing a conversation.
Before I continue this story, you must know that my roommate is pretty BA. She doesn’t take any crap.
My roommate and I talk about how annoying this situation is. We wish this girl could possibly return to her room or go to the lobby to talk to what’s-his-face. But no, this is impossible. Outside our door is a popular place for insomniacs to hang, it seems, as this is not the first obnoxious occurrence.
The day of the week doesn’t seem to matter to these people: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.  The disturbances happen quite a lot. I wonder why it is they can’t just limit this nuisance until the weekend.
My roommate gets out of bed. She takes a deep breath. She opens our door and politely asks the girl to please keep it down. We have to get up early. We’re not feeling well. It’s 2 in the morning on a school night. Pick your excuse.
I have watched her politely ask certain people in our hallway to be quiet many times. I keep telling myself I’ll handle it next time, but she’s so good at this that I let her handle it. She is the best.
Last time I checked, “Quiet Hours” were from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. I honestly do not mind what time you finally go to bed or how many hours you allow yourself to rest, but noisy hallways are invading my sleep.
My roommate’s and my bedtimes vary night to night, and it’s usually later than I would like.
But we do not run up and down the hallways. We do not turn our televisions up to volume 30. And we definitely do not talk on our cell phones right outside your door.
I understand that we all stay up late studying. Our favorite shows come on at midnight. Or we party until we crash. But clearly we do not share the same bedtimes, and you are becoming a bit of a problem.
I know I am always self-conscious about my stomping and bouncing and dropping things in my room because one of my best friends lives in the room directly below me. I’ll admit I’ve occasionally stomped a couple times on purpose, but other than that, I make it my mission to be cautious.
I wouldn’t want to disrupt their sleep or make them think there’s an elephant in my room.
Clearly, the people that live directly above me do not share this polite goal. I sometimes find myself believing there actually might be an elephant up there, or some other obnoxiously loud zoo creature.
So, before you talk on your phone to your boyfriend right outside our door, race your best friend up and down our hallway and sing in the shower at 2 a.m., keep in mind: my roommate and I can hear everything. And I’m betting we’re not the only ones with ears.
And when I get in bed tonight and try to catch some zzzs before you bother me, I’m always thankful for one thing: if it weren’t for my roommate, I would get no sleep at all.
Becca Horton is a freshman majoring in communication. She can be contacted at [email protected].