You know the dreaded Petunia Dursley-type neighbor? You might be one. Yeah, you.
In an age of feminine independence and youthful expression, the concept of marriage is frequently brought into question. Most particularly, as couples choose to marry at increasingly older ages, many wonder the wisdom of choosing to wed in college.
Once the norm, we now choke back giggles when a girl flashes her ring. Her friends, squealing like mad pigs, seize the chance to gossip the moment she leaves. The groom-to-be receives a hearty slap before his buddy asks if there’s any leftover pizza. So what if Lucy and Nat are engaged? It’s not my problem ‘til the registry opens. What happens in front of a judge is between the state and newly-bound couple.
Bound — did I strike a nerve? One of the leading anti-student marriage arguments is college attitudes and activities such as the desire for sexual freedom, course studies and extra curriculars often cause a split in matrimony. Generally, a mature marriage will precede any other activity whatsoever. The desire to move forward with marriage and with life in general would certainly serve as a motivator for students to make passing grades so they can graduate and get the heck out of here. The need for sexual freedom is problematic to any marriage, regardless of circumstances. Only the emotional maturity of the concerned individual can curb this senseless appetite.
Considering the freaky things college students are known to do, it’s little wonder maturity levels are called into doubt. But what age is the right age to marry? For an extraordinary number of people, college doesn’t end at 21. Consider the sixth-year students, the graduate and the doctorate level students — those people are old. Some students don’t enroll until after their children leave the nest. Are 30-ups too young, too impetuous to wed? In some cases, yes, but anyone aged 18 plus is technically an adult, and therefore legally able to shove a firecracker up his nose should he so desire. If people want to run for office or skip rope, then we should let them without judgement. Maturity develops independently of age, but as long as the concerned individuals are sane adults, what they do is not our business.
Will we drag innocent kiddies into a whirlwind of romantic legality? Marriage does not equate to children. Logic not enough? I don’t trust statistics, period, but I’ll give them to you. According to the August 2009 National Center for Health Statistics data brief, the average childbearing age is around 25 years of age. We also have these crazy-popular things called birth control. Jennifer J. Frost’s article in the October 2009 edition of the American Journal of Public Health reveals that in 2002, some 62 percent of women in the 20 to 24 age range used a form of birth control. Accidents happen, but on the whole, kids don’t factor into the college-marriage debate.
Couples also may concern themselves with money. You go to school, work and have to support two — a raw deal, right? Not really, because nothing changed. If you both work, then the income to spending ratio remains the same. If you think the wife will spend your savings on a spring wardrobe, then get separate accounts. Marriage is but one developmental stage. It doesn’t require a house or anything else.
I have noticed a trend in people undervaluing their humanity. We’re told, “You’re a student then an athlete or whatever.” Do we forget we’re human first? Following this truth, not all students define themselves as college students, but as people who also attend college. Our lives are short, yet filled with so many things to experience. I may never marry but for a great many people, that’s goal number one. To say college students shouldn’t marry is ridiculously condescending. We might as well say lion tamers and pharmacists shouldn’t marry. It distracts from careers, right? Just wait until we’re 90 — no, it’d be a drag to support two people on social security. Let’s abolish marriage altogether and have communal relationships. Unwanted pregnancies? Let the village deal with the brats.
You have so many sides, so many more aspects of your life than where you get your transcript printed. You have religion, ambitions and morals. For some people, marriage fits in snugly. What’s good for one isn’t always good for all, but to call student marriage a bad thing indicates a lack of cognition on our part.
Are we the mommies and daddies? If no, then quit peeping in on your neighbor. It’s creepy and, frankly, none of our business.
H.C. Manning is a sophomore majoring in general liberal arts. She can be contacted at [email protected]