Questions often lead to more questions, and they can leave you hopeless. But every once in a while, they lead you to a realization, to something truly good, something of value, something you want to share with people.
Have you ever thought about the concept of memories and eternity? If memories are based on time, what is time and what is a memory? If time is change and a memory is a mere recollection of time (change), what does that mean when we die?
I ask this because if God is immutable and unchangeable does that mean he is outside of time, outside of change? How does memory make sense apart from the body and this world? If God is unchangeable outside of time, how can we perceive anything at all if once we die memory is a perception of change?
Maybe there’s no time in eternity because there is no ending to it, so there’s no need for time. That’s not to say there are no memories. Time is a relative term; it can be specifically defined as just memories of change. Or is Einstein right? Is the concept of a new year foolish because time and space is just one dimension of many?
If the universe did truly start from one singularity, one finite ball of mass, which one “day” violently exploded and this same universe is now theorized to one day contract on itself, there are immense implications.
Is the universe in a constant cycle of expansion and contraction? If so, according to the same governing thermodynamic laws, matter cannot be created nor destroyed, so does it not follow then that given a vast amount of time, there are only a finite amount of possibilities (because there is a finite amount of mass in the universe) in which the universe can expand and contract?
And if there are only a finite amount of possibilities, doesn’t that mean eventually possibilities will repeat themselves? Is all of this around me just one of the possibilities, and has this happened before? Déj… vu? Will we eventually live this same life again?
I ask myself questions of this nature often. Sadly, I fear I will never find an answer. I know the truth has intrinsic value, but what if a small lie can do more good than the truth? Is this a logical fallacy? Am I just a hopeless victim of postmodernism? Even if the truth seems to cause more immediate bad than good, only the truth can bring about the ultimate good.
Is this correct? Maybe. Doesn’t it all depend on how you define truth? Obviously, lies and truths are opposites of each other, but one has to be defined in order for the other to be defined (or maybe not, maybe they are just completely separate entities from each other – we only make them opposite, one inadvertently defining the other in order for us to understand them more easily).
I mean if God does not even tell us everything, what example does that leave for us to follow? Maybe truth also includes the moderation of sensitive information? I’m starting to think so. I’m not supposed to know everything.
But this is what I do know; this I can share without a shadow of a doubt: Everyone will die. I will lose people close to me. I have lost people close to me. But I haven’t lost anyone, they have simply journeyed ahead of me. And there we will all have to travel. Besides, their gift, their love always remains in my heart.
Who will be my ruler? Money? Will I have the strength to realize greed distracts me with many things and separates me from others because it makes me distrustful? I can’t find happiness, when it is so easy. If I would only listen to my heart before I listened to my head; my head is conditioned because of memory and complicates everything with things of old, goals of past, distractions that sicken, that enchain. If we are love, we will be happy.
Nothing out of obligation or compromise, but out of love. Will I reconcile with myself? Will I look into a mirror and realize the creature I am seeing is the potential hands of God himself? I must realize that happiness is a gift from within; it will not come from outside this world.
For in good, there is a clear direction. Transcendence. Love. A path in which there is plenty in which to delight, for jadedness, pessimism and most casual sadness are wastes of the valuable blessed time given to us. Let us enjoy in the many delights of the occasional snows of winter, the flowers of spring, the Swiss chocolates, the French crepes, the Mexican tacos, the Chilean wines, the creative Brazilian soccer, “The Divine Comedy,” Whitman’s poetry, the paintings of Caravaggio, Rembrandt and Picasso. Let us rejoice in all the wonders of the world.
So don’t exasperate this weekend. Enjoy each other’s company, enjoy the live music and enjoy the amazing food at tailgates. Even show our rivals that incredible and famous Mississippi hospitality which we were so blessed to have surrounded us as we were raised.
Where else in the country can visiting sports teams eat and drink with the home team? Not to mention where we do it – not literally on tailgates on concrete like many schools, but in a stunning sea of maroon, old trees, tradition and all of nature’s green. Not spread out and scattered throughout the campus, but as a community. So what should I really be asking myself? Nothing; I think I’ve finally started to realize what all of this is: a blessing.
Julio Cespedes is a senior majoring in biological engineering. He can be contacted at[email protected].