No one likes to get caught red-handed.
Everyone has been there before: there is something you want to do. You know that you shouldn’t because it’s dishonest or potentially hurtful to others. But somehow, you justify it and convince yourself to act. And then you get caught.
That’s an uncomfortable moment. You know what you’re doing is wrong, and so does the person who caught you. Immediately, you feel shame. Guilt. Possibly regret. All of those feelings that you don’t want to experience.
No one ever wants to be at fault. We don’t like feeling guilty. When you get caught doing something, what is your first reaction? For most of us, it would not sound like this: “I’m sorry; that was wrong. I won’t do it anymore.”
No, most of us immediately begin racking our brains for a way to shift blame. Something else made us act this way. It was not our fault. We just couldn’t help it. Any of these sound familiar?
It is a natural reaction to want to blame someone or something else. We instinctively want to avoid responsibility for negative actions because if we accept responsibility, we must also accept consequences.
This avoidance of blame is constantly displayed in courtrooms across the nation. The new trend is to place the responsibility on one’s addictions. People today can be addicted to anything: alcohol, drugs, smoking. The list goes on and on.
Pamela Rogers recently claimed that her addiction to sex caused her to violate her parole. Rogers was sent to prison for having sex with a 13-year-old boy who had been her student. After 198 days in jail, she was released on probation but was told not to contact the boy or his family or access the Internet. Rogers, however, began talking to the boy again through text messages and also sent him explicit photos and videos. She said that she did this because she was a sex addict.
Rogers’ behavior was not excused because of her addiction, and she had to return to prison. However, there are many people who continue to blame their actions on addictions and have their punishments lessened. This is a dangerous trend.
Where does the cycle of blame end? Another example of denying responsibility can be seen in the cases being brought against fast food restaurants. In 2002, a man sued McDonald’s and three other fast-food chains for contributing to his obesity. Although this case was thrown out, several others have been raised since then.
Is it just me, or is this a little ridiculous? I know when I go to a fast-food restaurant, I choose what I want to eat. No one forces me to consume a certain amount. How can a person possibly blame anyone for his obesity, except himself? But this is what people are now claiming.
There are so many excuses that people can give for their actions. People seek to absolve themselves of all blame so that they can feel better about themselves or avoid consequences.
Responsibility can’t be shifted forever, though. Somewhere along the line, someone is picking up the slack. For example, McDonald’s has to pay a tidy sum for contributing to a person’s obesity. No big deal, right? After all, McDonald’s has a lot of money, and they won’t really miss it. Even if that person’s obesity isn’t really their fault, what harm is done?
Do you see the danger in this line of thinking? There has to be a line drawn somewhere. But where? That line is becoming more and more blurred as people are allowed to escape more and more responsibilities. People are a lot less prone to stop acting in a certain way if they don’t ever experience negative consequences.
The bottom line is that you personally are responsible for your choices. Yes, certain experiences and past histories can influence the decisions you make. But you have choices. And you have a rational mind to guide you through those choices. The decisions you make won’t always be the best. That happens to everyone.
Whatever the consequences of your decisions, accept them. Don’t try to blame other people for bad choices that you make. That is a great weakness. True strength of character is displayed by someone who acknowledges his mistakes and simply accepts the results. When you do something wrong, admit it. Then work to correct it. Weaknesses are unavoidable, but not insurmountable.