Bill O’ Reilly gets a lot of criticism for his comments, but I hardly hear anyone bash John Gibson for his asinine “My Word” segments on Fox News.
To prove Gibson’s overabundance of chromosomes, let’s take a look at a few of his observations.
His newest “My Word” segment is titled “A Fair Deal for Both Muslims and Pope Benedict!” In this horrific display of spit and burning phlegm, Gibson implies that the pope probably made a mistake with his ambiguous comments about Islam.
So he offers a suggestion: “The pope-and the rest of us-will take back the insult, which is that the prophet [Mohammad] brought things evil and inhuman, if Muslims will renounce the rest of the statement. That is, the true fact that Islam approves of spreading the faith by the sword.”
First, when Gibson says, “and the rest of us,” he must be talking about his other personalities. Second, how can a “fact” not be “true?” Lastly, concerning Islam’s approval of deadly proselytizing, Gibson should check the “true facts” about the religious; in other words, they don’t always agree. Extremists may condone violence, but that doesn’t mean you can accuse an entire religion.
Gibson’s summary of his “fair deal” is disgustingly illogical: “Islam renounces jihad against infidels-those who believe other than Muslims-and those who believe different than Muslims will renounce any statements Muslims find offensive.”
Explain how this is “fair”: Muslims become offended by something the pope says, and in order to receive an apology from one person, they must apologize for violence that most of them never support. Great thinking, Gibson. Maybe before a husband apologizes to his wife for cursing her name, he should receive apologies from women who killed their husbands.
Next, let’s analyze Gibson’s “Who Says Pluto Is No Longer a Planet?” To start things off, Gibson-whom many would say is the unofficial descendant of Jonathan Swift-says with probably a dumb wink, “I saw a headline this morning: ‘Scientists make new discovery. Pluto is not a planet.’ I said to myself, ‘Well, even I knew that.’ Everybody knows. Pluto is a dog.”
Gibson-that cunning, pasty little devil-knows that “Pluto” is the name of a cartoon dog. So to lampoon this headline, he acts as if the scientists were studying a fictional character. Upon hearing Gibson’s joke, my Southern Baptist grandparents converted to agnosticism.
Later on in the “Pluto” segment, Gibson formulates a revolutionary theory: “It’s been a planet for my entire life.” With this statement he confirms our long-lasting suspicion: that all future developments should somehow correspond to Gibson’s personal reality.
Incredibly, Gibson continues: “Somewhere, some mysterious person who answers to no one and seems to have dictatorial power sets new standards for planets, and all of a sudden one of the original nine is dropped?”
I agree. Scientists at conventions, large meeting places where people discuss subjects in detail, are extremely mysterious. It’s also weird that “scientists” would have power over standards within this framework known as “science.” And we all know that a “scientific explanation” doesn’t hold up as well as a “true fact.”
Gibson only empowers his spill by making a timely comparison: “All of a sudden Ringo isn’t a Beatle?” That’s right. Ringo is a man. Ha!
Finally, I want to share the dialogue of “Why the Media Is Spending So Much Time on the JonBenet Case.” In response to overexposure of the JonBenet case, Gibson says, “I think the No. 1 issue to people in this country of all races, both genders and all economic classes is their children.”
Or to be more specific, the No. 1 issue is one dead, white rich child.
Then Gibson concentrates on the importance of knowing John Karr’s activities: “If he did do this crime, how he did it is very, very important, and I guarantee you every parent in this country wants to know how it was done if he truly committed the crime.”
In other words, there will be no variety in child killer activity because Karr is the prototype. Oh yeah, we later found out that Karr probably didn’t have anything to do with JonBenet. But that’s just a hiccup.
Gibson concludes: “In fact, could anything be closer to the real life of this nation than gaining knowledge on the disturbing people who walk among us and plan to snatch, molest and maybe-perhaps even-kill our kids?”
How about gaining knowledge about other kids who have been killed? How about those kids who aren’t rich or white? We’ll never know because idiots like Gibson justify biased coverage.
And that’s “My Word.”
Categories:
John Gibson drivels
Jed Pressgrove
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September 19, 2006
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