Many years ago a famous playwright wrote about the importance of being earnest. He wrote about the chaos caused when people are not truthful about who they are and the misconceptions we as human beings can have about each other. It is a problem that many of us have struggled with since coming to the great big fish pond of Mississippi State.
Each spring, students have a decision to make regarding their living arrangement for the next year. This decision includes not only housing or location but also roommates. All three of these seem to change every year for a large number of students.
We all come to college with this dream about the perfect roommates right off “Friends.” We believe we will find the right people to share our lives with, everything will be perfect and we will never argue with them-or if we do, the argument will be resolved by the end of the episode. Well, if life is like “Friends,” why is it that a large portion of college students change roommates every year?
MSU is home to a wide variety of students that come from all over and from many walks of life. We should be able to find the one or two others who are compatible enough with us to live together for more than one year.
One problem we face as students dealing with roommates is that we change so much during our college years. We start and end every year as two different people, due in part to the vast range of people we meet.
It is important to remember this fact when we decide whether or not to stay another year with a current roommate. Just because you were compatible one year does not mean the following year will be the same. You have to closely study how much both of you have changed. Many times, change is apparent before the end of the school year and the time to sign leases.
Time hurts us, too-at least running out of it. Time passes faster than we all realize, and the spring is here before we know it. Many students are left looking for roommates long after many others have already signed leases. This desperation causes people to forget about things like compatibility and how well they know the other person. These students often say, “Well how bad can it really be?” Oh, how na‹¨ve we can all be.
Just in case you are wondering about the answer to this all-powerful question, let me see if I can explain. Having a bad roommate is like wearing a bad pair of shoes: they rub blisters on your feet, and when it rains your toes squish. We trick ourselves into thinking it cannot possibly be that bad, only to wake up one morning to life in an all-out war zone.
Now, that is not to say all roommate situations end up this way. They do not. In fact, lots of students have really great roommates with whom they enjoy living. A great roommate can help support you emotionally in hard times throughout the year. They can make life bearable in these times.
Others have not-so-great roommates who spend the year together and then move on without any animosity. I am simply warning of the extreme that we like to believe will never happen to us.
This how-bad-can-it-be thinking leads us to make some less than wise decisions-like living with friends. Living with friends is not always a bad idea. Actually, it’s a pretty good one. You already know who they are and many of their habits. However, sometimes we overlook the little things that do not bother us in small doses but make our skin crawl on a daily basis. You have to be able to evaluate the situation rationally. Can you live with this person for a year? And will you still be friends when August comes?
When a friend asks you to be their roommate, you have to decide if that is really what you want. If it is not, don’t be scared to say no. There is no reason to be mean about it, but if you cannot see yourself happy with the arrangement, it is not worth losing a friend.
The same is true for you, though. If a friend of yours does not accept an offer of being your roommate, do not take it to heart. Just appreciate that they do not wish to lose you as a friend.
Whoever you choose to room with next year, I wish you the best. Rainy days are much better with a good pair of shoes.