For many casual NFL fans, witnessing Green Bay’s overtime loss to the Giants was tragic in its consequences. With no Mississippi-born Favrian folk heroes to cheer for, sometime football followers must now feign emotional involvement in a game between two teams that we would normally choose to root against.
While numerous bloviating television sports gurus tell me the big game will be a battle between quarterbacks and wide receivers (tremendous insight, ESPN), the real battle will be for the hearts and minds of apathetic Super Bowl viewers. Viewers who might only watch the big game out of social obligation, or, like myself, because they have a roommate who recently purchased the television equivalent of a Hummer.
For those of you who can relate, you may want to consider a few things about each team before mindlessly casting your allegiance in either direction. First, if you did not already know, the Patriots are probably bad for humanity.
It’s doubtless that there are many reading this who support the Patriots in their historic, soul-crushing march toward world domination, but these people can be dismissed as power-hungry fascists.
Most of these people should not be trusted; they are bandwagon jumpers of the lowest order, and anything they say can be taken as unsubstantiated propaganda.
Yes, if the Patriots win the Super Bowl and go undefeated an entire season, it will be history in the making. But one must consider the type of history this is. Is it really a Sir Edmund Hillary-like triumph of spirit and perseverance, or is it more a Hitler-like domination of goodness and hope?
You might say not rooting for the Pats would be un-American, and you would probably be right. From their name to their indifferent slaughtering of every indigenous tribe they come across, the Patriots practically are America.
But hey, we’re young, and being un-American is cool. Don’t recycle, don’t vote and don’t cheer for the Patriots.
Also consider: Tom Brady is talented, rich, possesses tabloid-fodder good looks and has already won the Super Bowl three times. He is also dating a supermodel. Think of how much better his life is than yours, and see if you can still cheer for this guy.
So it seems the case against New England is pretty strong, leaving a seemingly easy choice to make … but wait!
There is one colossal burden weighing down the other side of the scale: Eli Manning.
Weighing this last factor against the entire laundry list of the evils in supporting the Patriots, it is not an easy choice to make for anyone.
Obviously, a full allegiance to either team will result in the painful rendering of soul from body.
If this does not immediately delight your fancy, you might want to consider the “Mythbusters” or “Scrubs” marathons going on at the same time, or take the high road and continue a dogged support of Green Bay.
For those of us stuck having to choose sides, at the very least we should evaluate our moral readiness to support either team before breaking out the chips and dip.
Sean Armstrong is a senior majoring in communication. He can be contacted at [email protected].