The first week of class is a bittersweet event for most students and teachers. In fact, I will even go as far as saying that most people hate the first week of class.
Sure, it’s fun to start a new semester and see everybody that you haven’t seen over the summer, but getting up early and sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher bore you to death is not most people’s definition of a great time.
Even though you feel like last week was a bad week for you because class started back, I have found a few things that I think will make you feel better about how your semester is going so far:
1) Last week in Wisconsin, a 21-year-old woman had two police officers come to her front door, handcuff her and take her “downtown” to the police station to be fingerprinted and photographed.
With a 21-year-old involved, many might think that the arrest had something to do with alcohol and are saying to themselves, “Big deal, I’ve already gotten arrested this week for alcohol related charges.”
But alas, this was far worse than the devil’s juice. The arrest was for not paying $30 overdue library book fines. You know your week sucks when you get put in jail for not paying your book fines.
2) Last week the late and great John Lennon’s killer Mark David Chapman acknowledged that he killed Lennon because he would no longer be a “nobody” if he shot someone as famous as Lennon.
Now, aren’t you glad that you aren’t that crazy? I feel like most of the students and teachers who started classes this week would much rather sit in a classroom for some odd hours rather than be in jail for killing a Beatle for some attention.
3) Maybe you’ve been looking for some fun stuff to do since you’ve been back at MSU. Maybe you want to try something interesting not many people can do.
Maybe you shouldn’t try to stick hooks through your skin and dangle in the air.
Last week some toolbag at a tattoo convention decided to attempt this and failed. Miserably. The hooks flew out of his back and he fell to the ground only to break his leg.
I know that getting to class last week in the pouring down rain sucked, but at least you aren’t on crutches and having to tell people the reason of why you’re on them is because you had hooks in your skin while dangling 35 feet in the air.
4) As we are in the South, the land of strange and possibly illegal animals kept as pets, I feel like there are people who will be extremely happy that they did not get attacked by their best friend’s raccoon while “coon-sitting” for a few days.
A poor guy in Iowa was just being a good friend and got attacked by his buddy’s pet raccoon.
You can now thank your lucky stars that when you pet-sit for a friend, you will be lucky that you didn’t get scratched and bitten by a raccoon.
If that doesn’t make your first week of class seem like the best thing since cold beer in Starkville, I don’t know what will.
Bailey Singletary is a senior majoring in communication. She can be contacted at [email protected].
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Last week’s news makes normal life look better
Bailey Singletary
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August 26, 2008
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