As the clock struck midnight, signaling 2012 had officially begun, I quietly whispered to no one, “Let’s pretend none of this ever happened.” Without fail, every year of my life has been the best and worst year so far. This feels like a universal truth, as with the approach of each coming year, my Twitter and Facebook feeds fill to the cyber brim with reflective musings on the twelve months previous.
As we reflect on another year passed, we collectively create resolutions for ourselves in the coming one. In undertaking these resolutions, we attempt to somehow better ourselves for personal and posterity’s sake. 
The problem with resolutions lies in their ephemerality. Similar to the rush of promise a college student might feel at the onset of each new semester, the beginning of the year seems to glimmer with the hope of achieving all we could not in our younger and more naïve years. However as the year progresses, our tribulations may wear us down. Month by month, our once unbreakable resolutions grow worn down and weathered. Our congruous cries of, “This year, I mean it” fade into mere echoes, lost to the vast expanse of time and expired gym memberships.
But this year’s different, I can feel it. Maybe it’s the eerie presence of spring-like weather lingering in a Mississippi January, or the looming threat of the Mayans’ predicted apocalypse, but I really believe the resolutions we make this year can stand the test of time. (If the Mayans were indeed right, it’s totally okay with me. If the world ends, I never have to pay back my student loans! Silver lining, folks.)
Let’s approach 2012 with an optimistic attitude, and let’s do it together. As a keen observer of society (aka I’m the creepy girl watching people eat in the union), I’ve noticed the areas in which we, as a community, need some improvement. As a peer right there in the trenches with you, I beset these insufficiencies upon myself as well. In the spirit of positive and collective change, I’ve accumulated a list of 10 easy and necessary resolutions I think we can and should all strive to achieve in what might be our last year on earth.
1.Figure out your life’s motto. A motto can be as simple or deep as you’d like, but it should aid you in troubling times. Some of my favorite mottos include, “Life is like a box of chocolates” and “Snap, crackle, pop!” brought to you by the likes of Forrest Gump and Rice Krispie treats, respectively. A motto is like your emotional catchphrase, so put some thought into it. As for me, I live my life by the simple but powerful mantra of “What Would Rihanna Do?”
2. Do one thing each day that betters your entire life.This can be as monumental or as trivial as you want. Changing your life is easier than you think. Start with something simple, like actually removing yourself from a mailing list rather than just deleting each e-mail and work your way to bigger things, like curing cancer. I believe in you!
3.Embrace change, starting with Facebook’s new timeline feature. Nothing quite riles up the masses like an alteration in Facebook’s layout, and this new one’s a doozy. Accepting change is an important life tool, and Facebook is merely nudging you along in your path toward total nirvana (and procrastination). Accept it and embrace it. I love timeline because it promotes my favorite feature of Facebook — stalking myself.
4.Can we stop wearing Ugg boots yet?Is this too much to ask? I’m asking it anyway. Girls, you are way too beautiful and gifted to go stomping around campus with elephant feet. Look, I know — they are really comfy, but so are footie pajamas, and I don’t go around wearing those. Actually, change this resolution. Everyone start wearing footie pajamas in public. Start that right now.
5.Inform yourself.There’s an election coming up. It’s more important that you study the issues facing our country and how each candidate plans to handle them than it is for you to study the names of the Kardashian sisters. On that note, read the news. Get your news from a source that comes in a printed format. I could talk for days about the social and journalistic importance of blogs, but for your own sake, at least browse a newspaper once a week. (Hey, you’re doing that now!)
6.Live in a way that would make your inner 6th grader proud.Basically, this means don’t be an idiot. Let’s face it, the sixth-grade version of you was probably way smarter than you are now. Be the person you hoped you’d become, and not the person you’ve allowed yourself to settle for.
7. Let’s be healthy. I can promise you there’s no need for you to eat nothing but Saltines for a week or lift 200 pounds per day at the gym. If you look like you might blow over during a strong gust of wind, or like your neck might explode during a particularly challenging math problem, you’re doing it wrong. Just eat the things you know you’re supposed to eat and try to do some sort of physical activity. (Dancing around your room by yourself counts!) Oh, and something about drinking water. Yeah, water’s good.
8.Seriously, don’t drink and drive. Do I really have to ask this of you? Yes, I do. Okay, I don’t think you should stop drinking. Drink all you want! It’s fun! But if you don’t have a ride home from wherever you’re drinking, it’s sofa city or start walking. Come on, people. It’s 2012. You know better.
9.If you don’t have a favorite TV show that’s currently running, find one! There are so many good shows airing this season, and there’s a show for everyone. Find the show that fits you, fall in love with it, and prepare yourself for the numbing depression that will accompany its inevitable cancellation. Everyone’s favorite show always gets canceled. Also, if you’re one of those people who “don’t watch TV,” please regard the following ellipsis as my Liz Lemon-style exaggerated eye roll…
10.And finally, do it big!I mean, really big. Live your life like an eighties music video. I’m talking big hair, big shoulders, big clouds of smoke, big everything. On the off chance this is our last year, it’s our last chance to really live it up. So let’s do that. Let’s do it big.
There you have it — some relatively doable resolutions for the New Year. Whether you make a resolution or not and whether you stick to it or not, let’s make this year great. Like I said, I’ve got a really good feeling about this one. As this year closes, whether we reflect back upon it while popping bottles of champagne with our closest friends, or while watching a giant rock hurl toward the earth as we cling to family in our final moments, let’s make sure we can say we did more than just the best we could. Let’s look back fondly and remember. Let’s make this the best year yet.