Over the course of the past two weeks, I have begun to ask myself deeper questions. Why are some bathrooms disgusting, but others are practically spotless? Am I the only person on the planet who has thought to review bathrooms? How is there not a Yelp for this already?
The only thought that keeps me calm is the promise that someday college will end, and all I will have will be pictures that I will hate of my friends and myself, a degree that fulfilled my overwhelming need for academic validation and a concise 2,500-word document that outlines the virtues of (almost) all MSU bathrooms, which might be the most important article series I will ever write. Join me as my adventure continues into our penultimate week of bathroom reviews.
Giles Hall, 5/10
- Generally clean
- Questionable style choices
- Cave-like
This bathroom on the first floor of Giles Hall is comparable to an ‘80s fever dream. The color palette is slightly reminiscent of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse of my youth. The stalls are a bright orange, with a royal blue countertop and dim lighting. The cleanliness of this bathroom was average, not great, but I have seen worse. There are not many stalls in this bathroom, but I doubt the population demand for this bathroom is extremely high. One interesting observation I had about this lavatory is the power of the flush. The toilets flush with a greater intensity than I have ever seen in my 18 years. I am not entirely sure whether to categorize this as a pro or a con.
McCool Hall (first and second floor), 4/10
- Points for design
- Stinks
- Many stalls
- Questionable lighting choices
I have visited both the first and second floor bathrooms of McCool Hall, and there is absolutely no difference between them. I almost want to give points for consistency. The most outstanding observation I had upon entering this bathroom was the stench, which goes beyond standard bathroom stench. Whatever you are imagining, it is probably worse. The layout and design of the bathrooms are decent, and leaving out the smell, they are also clean. Another question I was left with after leaving the bathroom was: do business majors prefer darkness? Both bathrooms were horribly lit, and I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want a dark bathroom.
Mitchell Memorial Library (2nd floor), 6.75/10
- Small
- Large handicap stall
This bathroom was a pleasant surprise. It is relatively off the beaten path, which I believe contributes to its spotless appearance. It is slightly cramped, but it gets the job done. There is also minimal lighting.
Mitchell Memorial Library (4th floor), 7/10
- Private
- Clean
Mississippi State University has an impressive collection of Lincolnia, as well as a museum of music, all located on the fourth floor of the library. What else is located on the fourth floor? One single-stall bathroom with more space than a person could ever need. The bathroom was darkly lit but quite clean. Honestly, most sins of a bathroom can be forgiven by a door with a hefty lock (as well as some privacy).
Fresh Food Company, 7/10
- Lots of stalls
- Not usually crowded
- Secluded
This bathroom is a solid seven. It is usually not very busy (always a plus), and it is adequately clean. It is a large bathroom with many stalls to choose from. As much as it physically pains me to write in this battle of bathrooms, Fresh is ranking much higher than Perry.
McArthur Hall, 5.5/10
- Very clean
- Secluded
- Door locks need extreme work
McArthur Hall has some very clean bathrooms. That is what stood out to me as I checked out this first floor restroom. My only qualm with this bathroom was the quality of the stall lock mechanism. I had the unfortunate experience of having to hold the door closed while I used the restroom. This brings to mind a topic I am particularly passionate about, which is the quality of stall doors. Too many times have I entered a bathroom only to realize that I might as well have left the door open, since there is an inch wide gap in the door. McArthur goes further and fails the minimum requirement of a door, which is being able to shut it. If there was any situation on Earth in which I would want a door that shuts effectively, it would be in the bathroom. I do not believe this is a complex issue, evidenced by the amount of functional doors I have seen in my life. I would be so incredibly pleased if I never have to make mutually awkward eye contact in the gap between a stall door again. It is 2022, for God’s sake.
The answer to last week’s question of “how many consecutive bathroom reviews will they let me publish?” is four, apparently. Join me next week for our finale.
