I empty the full laundry basket onto the couch. The heat rises out of the mound of whites. I click on the television as I sink down next to the clothes. I pick up Carolyn’s t-shirt and begin to fold it. The doorbell rings.
“Coming,” I say, placing the shirt carefully on the arm of the couch.
I jog to the door and open it. There stands a tall man with brown hair and a goofy smile. My mouth drops.
“Hey, Kat,” David says and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
I look at him. He’s smiling, but it looks forced. Suddenly, I’m eight years old, and David comes to my house for the first time. I remember thinking he was the cutest boy I had ever seen. I remember hiding behind Mama’s legs. I remember peeking around and catching his eyes. I remember he winked at me. I remember giggling and retreating back behind my mom.
I remember the second time he came over he asked me to play a game with him. Monopoly? Life? Payday? I chose Life. I remember David let me pull the vet card. I always wanted to be the vet. Carolyn got mad that I didn’t play by the rules. I remember biting the corner off that day so I could always draw that card. I remember getting mad because I didn’t get any babies. I remember tossing my money everywhere when I had to pay $50,000. I remember David just laughed. I remember Carolyn started yelling.
I remember a couple weeks later sneaking to the window after Carolyn walked David out. I remember seeing the porch light fall over their faces as they kissed each other. That was probably the first time I ever felt jealousy. I remember the next day trying to kiss Mitch Franks at recess. He tattled on me. I remember Mama being so mad when she picked me up. What were you thinking? she said. Carolyn and David did it, I answered. Carolyn is sixteen.
I remember that next spring David picked me up from school. Your mom is sick, he said. I remember not understanding what was going on. I remember going to the hospital. I remember Carolyn crying. I remember watching her falling into David’s chest. I remember him holding her. I remember hearing “cancer” for the first time. I don’t remember hearing that it was stage four. I don’t remember my dad being there. I remember David never left Carolyn’s side. I don’t remember when my dad stopped being around, but I remember David being there to step in.
I remember he graduated high school that May. I remember seeing him less. I remember seeing Carolyn crying one day after school. David broke up with me. I remember not understanding. I remember him showing up at the house a month later, and Carolyn seemed so happy.
I remember my freshman year, he proposed. I remember Carolyn asking me to be the maid of honor. I remember saying yes. I remember being escorted by his brother. I remember Matt kissing me that night. It was my first real kiss. I remember he was so cool because he was a freshman in college, and I was just in high school.
I remember David threatening the first boy I brought home; it wasn’t Matt. I remember David dancing the father daughter dance with me at my cotillion. I remember David sitting up waiting for me to get home from prom. I remember crying on him when my first boyfriend broke up with me.
I remember, six months ago, Carolyn crying on me. He moved out. I remember two weeks later waiting outside the bathroom door. I remember the helpless cry. I’m pregnant. I remember not knowing what to do.
I look at David standing there. I want to shut the door in his face. I want to punch him. I want to hug him.
“What do you want?” I say.
“Where’s Carolyn?”
I left the door open and walk back to my laundry.
“She’s taking a nap,” I refuse to look back at him. “But you are not waking her up.”
“Can I wait here?”
I shrug. “Can I get you some water, some sweet tea?”