Q: I have no clue what to do or what to buy for my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. This is our first V-Day together because we started dating last summer. Any ideas?
A: Thankfully there are still guys out there who think about these things at least a week in advance and not the day before-or worse-the day of. Depending on your girlfriend’s personality, how creative you want to be and how much time you plan on investing, you can do many different things for your girlfriend. Gentlemen, take note.
What does your girlfriend’s room look like? What kind of music does she enjoy? What does she like doing in her spare time? Even better, what has she secretly been begging for since you’ve been together? Try to clue yourself in to things that make her happy. Warning: do not buy her tickets to the concert you’ve been dying to take her to. Leave that one to give to you instead.
Want to make her cry? Write her a poem about how she makes you feel and read it to her. Or, take her out in the middle of nowhere only to fall upon a conveniently placed bundle of blankets, covered in roses, with champagne and speakers playing soft passionate music under the stars, and then read her the poem. But don’t let her freeze to death because you feel like being Romeo for one night. She’ll understand if you choose to do a similar event minus the stars.
Want to make her gag? Get her a goldfish you so generously pre-name “Sparky” that’s going to die the same day you buy it because you put pennies instead of rocks in the bottom of its bowl.
Want to make her feel sexy? Then make sure she’ll enjoy wearing the lingerie you spend your life savings on just as much as you’ll enjoy seeing her in it.
Broke? Veer toward creating something artsy, if you can do it. But don’t paint her a portrait of yourself because that would be freaky. And don’t try to paint a portrait of her if your stick figures got made fun of in kindergarten.
Don’t be generic unless you’re shooting for the “traditional and customary boyfriend” award. These gifts would include flowers, chocolate and anything else you remember giving your sixth grade girlfriend. Although these gifts can be nice, and sometimes preferred, try to give her something you put some thought into and that she’ll remember the next week.
Simple and meaningful things will get you further in the long run. Don’t lose sleep because you’re trying to be a mastermind in organizing something overdone. She may always remember your generous sweet tokens of affection, but she may also remember the cheesy boyfriend that came along with those unnecessary presents.
Q: I’m supposed to meet my boyfriend’s parents for the first time this weekend at the basketball game. I’m a little nervous because I like my boyfriend a lot and want to make a good impression. Can you give me some advice so I don’t completely make a fool of myself?
A: Start at the beginning-the actual encounter. When presenting yourself, it’s always good to start out with a firm handshake. And I don’t mean one of those measly, limp and cold grips many people offer. A solid greeting will show them you are a confident person. They will also take you more seriously because they will be meeting a grown-up, not a child.
When choosing what to wear, think of the conservative side of your closet. Try not to show cleavage or any lower region cracks. Whatever you do, don’t show up in your sparkly tube-top and those black pants that prefer to ride up your bum rather than sit correctly on your hips. Basically, don’t show up in provocative or suggestive clothing for your first meeting.
Try not to be touchy-feely with your boyfriend around his parents. Inappropriate PDA could have his father offering his son high-fives. But it also may put his mother into an instant protective mode and prod her to kill you with icy glares. Even kisses on the cheek may be too much for the first meeting. In this category, it’s always better to do less than do more.
Look his parents in the eye when you speak to them. They want to know that you are sincere and care about their son. But don’t act like your meeting is an interview with the nation’s top company. Remember: they’re human, and they were your age once.
To sum it up, just act mature. No mother or father wants to meet someone who looks like they may need to be babysat later on in life. They know you’re a college student, but they also know that by this age you should have a brain containing the main ingredients for common sense.
Most importantly, be yourself. If you find you can’t be yourself around them, it’s not your fault. Describe your goals in life. Even better, ask them questions about their lives.
Don’t freak out. If they don’t like you and you end up marrying this guy you can always throw their tacky presents in the trash when you receive them at Christmas time.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail them to [email protected].