Q: I met this incredible girl last week over the break. The problem is, she lives in California. I’ve never met anyone more perfect for me. She wants to keep in touch, and if all things go well, she wants to start a relationship. I am at a loss because I’m only 19 years old and have three more years here at school. I don’t want to lose her! Help!
A: First of all, you never had her. You spent, what, a week with her over Spring Break? You’re still burning with infatuation for this girl because you haven’t had real time to spend with her. So how long do you think these feelings will seriously last?
Since you only spent a short amount of time with her, you never discovered her quirks. She seems godly to you right now because you weren’t around long enough to find out she’s a kleptomaniac, bed wetter or Satan worshiper.
Do you really want to start a long distance relationship with someone whom you don’t even know? It sounds like a great idea now, but maintaining a long distance relationship is hard enough for couples going on a few years.
You’re still young and have more than three years to look forward to meeting someone good for you on the same side of the country. Don’t become a hermit only to emerge when you graduate and find out that you missed out on what’s supposed to be the best years of your life.
Instead of rushing things, maybe it would be better to stay mutual friends. Keep in touch and have an agreement that if you’re both still craving each other when you leave college you can start a relationship.
If you decide to completely ignore the preceding, take a couple weeks and get to know her better through the phone, e-mail and any other form of communication possible. After some time has passed your gut feelings will be able to guide you. Plus, you’re less likely to hurt each other if you talk things though.
Here’s a better idea: Why don’t you pack up and ship yourself to California? They sell cold beer there, the countless bars don’t close until dawn and you can surf your days away with your girl.
Q: Every time I go to a certain bar in town the same guy always tries to hit on me. He’ll leave me alone for a couple of minutes and then try talking to me again. Without my girlfriends, I don’t think this stalker would ever stop trying to make a pass at me. How do I get rid of this creep?
A: Most girls find themselves victims of distorted nighttime creatures at some point in their lives. Instead of becoming the prey, be the huntress. Don’t waste any more time dealing with someone who ruins your perfectly good go-out nights.
Make this easy for yourself and stop going to that particular bar. Why put yourself in that situation and complain about it?
If you don’t want to hide from this guy for the rest of your college career, you may need to devise some clever tactic other than using your buddies as human shields.
Since it can be a pain to get a blatantly perverted guy off your back, you may need to find fun elsewhere. Crowd scenes change from bar to bar, so maybe it’s time you take your crew to another place in order to rid yourself of this maniac. This may be tough to do at first. Ultimately, you won’t have a horny leech attached to your side and you may find more interesting gentlemen in an unfamiliar setting.
Leave your comfortable nook. Here are a couple of suggestions: Find yourself three preferably large guys to accompany you to the bar. Not only will you have yourself a personal bodyguard system, you may find yourself attracted to your protectors. What else could be better than that?
You can tell the owner if you think it’s serious enough. He or she will be able to give the creep a warning and later escort him outside, never to return again.
Why don’t you learn karate? It keeps you in shape, builds great character and is a great conversation starter to let him know you have a black belt and you’re not afraid to use it. You could just buy yourself a bat and some Mace (no explanation necessary).
It’s a good idea to get rid of this guy carefully. He may seem harmless at first, but beware; he could be dangerous. Make sure you don’t tell him where you live or what kind of car you drive. These things slip out easily when you’re drunk, but no one wants to find your face on a milk carton.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail questions to [email protected].