Man, I go away for a couple of weeks, and all heck breaks loose! It figures. Let’s do a rundown of what we all witnessed.
Rest In Peace: Joe Strummer of the punk group The Clash died at the age of 50. The Clash was one of the most influential bands of the last 30 years. They churned out songs such as “The Magnificent Seven,” “English Civil War,” “White Riot,” “Rock the Casbah,” “London Calling” and “What’s My Name?,” a song Jon Savage of The Guardian called “a perfect statement of teen angst.” The Clash is to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year, and rightfully so.
Politics as Usual: Al Gore went on “Saturday Night Live.” He made out with Tipper, made fun of Trent Lott and proved to all the world that he is no actor. Of course, what do you expect from a guy who has all the charisma and personality of a bag of flour? I’m not saying Al Gore is boring, but I have heard that his speeches put even him to sleep.
Then he announces he’s not running for president. This is good news because sequels are never as good as the original. “Bush/Gore II” could never have lived up to the fun and frolic of 2000.
Joe Lieberman, the token liberal of censorship groups, is contemplating a run. So is Dick Gephardt, the eyebrowless former leader of the House Democrats. John Edwards and John Kerry are contenders as well. I’m not sure if Trent Lott’s running for the Republicans, but the Republicans sure are running from him.
A Whole Lott of Fun: Ah yes, Trent Lott. Where do I begin? You have a man who said we’d be better off had we elected a segregationist as president in 1948, later said that “racial discrimination does not always violate public policy,” voted against the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday and became a visible endorser of the Council of Conservative Citizens-a group born out of the old White Citizens’ Councils of yesteryear.
He did all of this before he became one of the most powerful senators in the country and said once again that we’d be better off if we’d elected a segregationist in 1948, this time to a much bigger audience. Then he goes on BET, squirms like he’s in a dentist’s chair and claims to be an ardent supporter of affirmative action, something that most Republicans (especially Southern Republicans) hate with the fury of a thousand suns.
All of this led him to lose the support of his own party (something that he attributed to being a target of people out to get him because he’s a conservative and a Christian), and resign from his post as Senate majority leader. And you thought you had an eventful holiday!
Send in the Clones: A group called the Raelians have announced that they have produced the world’s first human clones.
Anyway, the Raelians are a cult led by a French journalist named Rael, who claims to have been contacted by aliens sometime in the early ’70s.
First of all, given the widespread availability of psychedelic drugs during the late ’60s and early ’70s, I imagine a lot of people were contacted by aliens. Second, if we were going to contact anybody, it wouldn’t be some Frenchman in a bathrobe. Oops, I’ve said too much.
The End of the World As We Know It: So let me get this straight about the current war on terrorism. We still don’t have bin Laden. If we invade Iraq, we’ll have to worry about gas and germ attacks. Now the North Koreans are threatening nuclear war? As Timbuk 3 once sang: “Things are goin’ great, and they’re only gettin’ better.”
Keep your seat belts on; it’s going to be a bumpy year.
Tony Odom is a graduate student in the history department.