A few weeks ago I found out I had tendonitis in my heel. With only one week until our first volleyball tournament, I was determined I would not to let my injury keep me from practicing. My hopes were dashed when my doctor said I was not allowed to practice at all until my heel was completely painless.
I tearfully began thinking that I may miss the first tournament of my senior year. The doctor, noticing my tears, said, “It’s better to miss out on one tournament and get better than miss out on the entire season because you made it worse by trying to play on it.”
I realized he was right. Because I gave my heel rest, I was able to play in our first tournament.
The doctor’s comments made sense to me in more ways than one. How many times in a rocky relationship do we try and force things to work out that ultimately cause the downfall of our relationship?
I have been in relationships that consisted of constant bickering. My significant other and I would rack our brains trying to figure out ways to stop fighting and make things run smoothly. It was endlessly stressful and we began constantly working at our relationship instead of enjoying it. The truth is, we were never going to figure out a way to make things work.
Our relationship had drawn on longer than it needed to and ended badly. Because of all that, he and I have a better chance of winning the lottery than ever being compatible again.
Many of you are staying in relationships now, playing through the pain. Don’t be afraid to take some healing time, it doesn’t mean you have to break up. It means you care enough about the health of your relationship to give it time to pick itself back up. Don’t wait until you’ve injured it so badly that you ruin your chances at living “happily ever after.”
There are several signs that some healing time may be needed in a relationship:
*The arguing never seems to stop.
*You’d rather go to the library than hang out with your significant other.
*Your sweetheart does things on a regular basis that annoy you.
*You’re genuinely hurting.
Take heed of these warning signs. If you can stop the problems right away then do it, but this rarely works in seriously injured relationships. Realize there is an incredible amount of patience involved in taking healing time.
Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. The basis of a good relationship lies within the couple’s ability to make it through the rough times. Take a step back and allow the swelling of problems to go down. Reconciling becomes easier.
It could be the small break needed to save a relationship from missing its “season” entirely.
Lauren Bounds will write a relationship column that will be published on Tuesdays. Lauren will answer readers’ questions. Send e-mail to [email protected].