Every time my parents come in town I have to brief them on what happiness and dramas are occurring in my life. On their last visit I was telling my mother-who happens to be my supreme relationship counselor-about something that had been bothering me.
My dad, being in the same room with us, overheard everything and went to his suitcase and took out a book. He handed it to me and told me to read it. At first I was puzzled because the book is written by Bill O’Reilly, host of the “The O’Reilly Factor,” the No. 1-rated show on the Fox News cable network.
But when I read the title, my Dad’s point became clear. The book is called “Who’s Looking Out For You?” My dad said this book would help me realize the people I let in my life who aren’t really looking out for me.
How many of us put our precious time into others who aren’t looking out for us and never will?
It isn’t uncommon for such a thing to happen. Most will admit to overhearing friends wondering why their significant others-I hesitate to say sweethearts-treat them so inconsiderately. Often they know it without having their friends point it out.
The ones who seem to cause so much stress are really just sucking the life right out of us.
Why do people become clingy instead of getting out of the relationship?
The people that aren’t looking out for us are the ones who we want because we can’t completely have them.
Both guys and girls stress if they don’t get a call from their others just about every day. However, if the feelings were mutual, worry wouldn’t be in their vocabulary.
There isn’t anything wrong with having high standards for the people who come into your life. If there is someone you care for, then that’s great, but care about yourself first to recognize his or her intentions. As the old saying goes, “hurt me once, shame on you; hurt me twice, shame on me.” It isn’t wrong to cut people off who don’t care about your well-being.
So how can you tell if your other isn’t looking out for you? Let me provide an example-a warning sign.
If your other only seems to have time to call you between the hours of midnight and 3, Wednesday through Saturday, look out. Not to mention they always seem to be hammered and try to convince you, the sober one, they just want to come over to “cuddle.”
Another unfortunate situation is to go out with friends only to find your other dancing to “Feelin’ On Your Booty” by R. Kelly (You gotta love that).
It’s not rocket science. You control who comes into your life and you can control how you let them affect you. So are they really looking out for you? If not, maybe it’s time to find someone who is willing to put your best interest at heart.