Not even a year after my high school graduation, I have already received almost 10 invitations to friends’ weddings. I have not taken a class without seeing one of my classmates with a rock on her finger. Nothing is wrong with falling in love or marrying, but many do not realize what marriage really is. Marriage is serious-not just playing house. I am not saying that this is wrong, but there is a time and a place for everything and statistics show that marrying young is not healthy. Yes, I have heard the fairy tale stories about a couple meeting in junior high and lasting until the end of their days, but honestly, how do you know you are so in love with someone when you’ve never compared them to anyone else?
Coming to college not only teaches us an education; it also teaches us how to live. Many young people nurture immature views of marriage. They imagine it to be a romantic fantasy, or they think it will make them more “grown up.” Many think marriage will cure problems, but if anything, it presents a whole new set of problems to deal with.
Why do so many marriages fail? The answer may determine whether you are really ready for marriage or not. There is no way I could get married right now. I’m just a sophomore in college, and I still have crushes on different people every other week. But what floats my boat may not float everyone else’s.
When people choose their life mates, they are either setting themselves up for something great or something horrible. When people decide to weave their life into someone else’s, it could be the most rewarding thing, if that was the right decision; but a poor decision could cause decades of pain and despair.
Being with someone should not be about looks, money or who dresses the best. When all of that stuff fades away, love is left to hold a marriage together.
The divorce rate in the United States is far higher than any other country in the world. Of 10 couples who get married today, five will get divorced. Facts state that the average marriage lasts only 9.4 years. Some studies indicate that one half of the couples whose marriages are unsuccessful get divorced within two years after their wedding day. What people fail to realize is that children get trapped in the middle of divorce. Sixty percent of all children born this year will spend at least part of their childhood in a single-parent family. On top of that, 70 percent of all persons in our society will have experienced a broken home-either the home of their parents or their own home.
There is no such thing as being engaged too long, but there is a such thing as marrying too early. A relationship takes time. I have known people in serious relationships here at school that will sit in their room all night because they are so in love. In about 10 years, those same people will be trying to live a life that they should be living now when they are over 30 years old. Statistics tell us that the divorce rate is twice as high for 21- and 22-year-olds as it is for 24- and 25-year-olds. The divorce rate for persons under 20 is overwhelmingly high.
Recent information has shown that adolescence often lasts much longer in our society than in other societies. Until people have reached their mid-20s, they usually have not developed sufficiently-emotionally or spiritually-to make long-term predictions about life. In the absence of such development or experience, how can anyone judge how well their fit with someone else will be in the future? I am not judging young married couples because I know many successful ones, but at the same time there are many more unsuccessful ones.
Life is not all about being single and having fun dating everybody you see. Life is about learning from mistakes, but many mistakes can be avoided-marrying the wrong person at a very young age could be one. If something is meant to be, it can wait. I do believe in fate, and whatever is meant to be will be. People should not try to make something what it is not. It is very sad to see two people married and hating each other at the same time. What is even more sad is to see a child in that same household. I do not believe that what we call an “oops” baby is a mistake. But when a couple decides that they have to marry because of that baby, a mistake takes place.
The idea that men and women are incomplete without each other is an idea from the Bible. In I Corinthians the apostle Paul said, “But remember that in God’s plan men and women need each other.” Ecclesiastes states “Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better.”
It is crucial that we do a better job of mate selection in our society. We have paid little attention to this subject, andnow we are paying the price as a nation and a culture. But we are capable of bringing about a dramatic historical change.
Marriage is more than walking down that aisle in a pretty white dress and playing house afterward. It is two people becoming one flesh and should be taken much more seriously than it is.