“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is hopefully just a marred version of the popular book written by Douglas Adams. I can’t imagine a true sci-fi fan thinking this story is remotely relevant.
Granted, the film does offer a satisfying opening. After claiming that humans are the third smartest creatures on Earth, narrator Bill Bailey reveals the world is about to end, a fact known by the world’s second smartest creatures, the dolphins. As the camera pans the sea mammals doing tricks in a pool for a loving crowd, the dolphins break into song before they leave Earth to avoid eradication, starting with the line, “So long and thanks for all the fish.” Dry wit at its best.
Then we meet Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman), whose home waits for a construction team to demolish it for a new bypass. As he confusedly pleads for his property, in comes Ford Prefect (Mos Def) on a bike with a basket full of beer.
After Ford gives all the workers some cold ones, he takes Arthur to a bar to have a last drink on Earth. Ford tells Arthur he’s an alien, which is followed by a humorous flashback of Ford attempting to greet a car and a totally unfunny flashback concerning Arthur’s missed opportunity with a woman named Trillian (Zooey Deschanel). Ford also informs Arthur of Earth’s impending doom, and the two hitch a ride on a spacecraft, courtesy of Ford’s red and glowing thumb ring.
Although the film doesn’t quite collapse at this point, it’s where the humor starts to sag. The hitchhiking duo find themselves on a ship saturated with nasty creatures, the Vogons, and must endure horrid poetry from the fiends. Eventually they escape from the ship and are picked up by the president of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell).
What ensues is a reuniting of Dent and Trillian and a robot, Marvin (voiced by Alan Rickman), that suffers from pessimism and depression and a quest to acquire the ultimate question of the universe.
Yes, it sounds like fun sci-fi mischief. And occasionally it succeeds, especially with the computer animated lessons from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide” (the book plays a part in the story-not as confusing as it looks on paper).
Right away, I can hear the ardent fans who will say, “You don’t get it.”
That’s not the case at all. The plot is not hard to understand, and all the humor makes sense. The film just rarely elicits laughter and basically starves itself with dry humor, but perhaps I’m spoiled by the vastly superior “A Clockwork Orange” and “12 Monkeys.”
Unremarkable stars hurt the experience as well. Martin Freeman is simply a terrible choice for his role; Arthur remains flat throughout the movie and hardly pushes the envelope.
Similarly, Zooey Deschanel will make you daydream with her uninteresting Trillian. She hardly seems like a woman who one man would desire, much less two. Furthermore, the scenes between Freeman and Deschanel can be described as extremely awkward chemistry at best and an unsuccessful mismatch at worst.
Not all is lost thanks to the dependable Mos Def. His galaxy savvy Ford is cool and goofy without being stupid. Sam Rockwell hits and misses with the egotistical Zaphod, but at least he injects some life into this lacking adventure.
Not surprisingly, the voice of Alan Rickman is the funniest and best part of the cast. Marvin the robot becomes the reason to keep watching “The Hitchhiker’s Guide,” almost as if his unending negativity helps you cope with the uneven pace of the film. When the hitchhikers arrive to the planet they believe holds the ultimate question, Marvin blankly says, “Incredible. It’s even worse than I thought it would be.”
Having heard heaps of praise about the book, the plot feels unique yet misguided. There’s no question that the premise is original, yet annoying things hinder it from being great. For instance, the Vogons are the only real villains to speak of. This was devastating to the story since they seem like a one-hit wonder rogues group in the first place. At first, the film implies that the Vogons can cause massive destruction. They practically take out Earth without a sweat in an impressive sequence. Yet when numerous Vogons try shooting hundreds of shots at the heroes, none of the blasts register one wound.
Later, Marvin explains that the aliens are terrible marksmen, which seems like a screenwriting excuse to not harm any of the characters. This severely limits the impact of the adventure.
In other movies like “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and “Total Recall,” a sense of danger is always apparent, which grips the audience with suspense and uncertainty. This feeling is sadly absent in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide.”
Other potentially fascinating things, such as carrying a towel while hitchhiking, don’t fit into the world of film that well.
Expect immense disappointment near the film’s end. The ultimate question turns out to be ultimate plot retardation, and a love theme comes through strong before the finale. Again, I sincerely hope Adams didn’t fork over flaccid atrocities like this in the book.
Despite doing a reasonable job with the visual style, director Garth Jennings sports lagging impotence with themes and ideas that should enthrall and mesmerize. Of course, the screenplay could cripple the best auteur with its whimsical flimsiness.
Someone should make a guide on how to make a good science fiction movie. Oh wait, a few have already been developed: “Blade Runner,” “Brazil,” “Alien,” “Minority Report” and “Back to the Future,” to name a few.
Overall, not every wonder in this film fails, but consider “The Hitchhiker’s Guide” a flawed curiosity. Rent it, and then watch the other aforementioned films, and you’ll see what I mean.
The special features fare better than the picture. Even though the making of doc only lasts nine minutes, it provides decent info. Apparently, Warwick Davis (“Willow”) was the body of Marvin, and the Jim Henson team used its talent to bring the Vogons to life.
Other extras include an additional entry in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide” (a computer animated scene that was cut), three ghastly deleted scenes, a couple of somewhat entertaining “Really” deleted scenes, a sing along with the dolphins, a hangman game featuring Marvin and two commentary tracks that let Freeman, Jennings, two producers and a colleague of Adams spew their thoughts.