Q. My best friend and I are roommates in the same dorm. For years, we had done everything together and have been inseparable. We have always had the best friendship, up until we both moved to MSU last August. Before this school year started in August, my best friend went through sorority recruitment, without my knowledge. Well, she got in and she has completely ignored me ever since.
She never wants to hang out anymore, and she is always busy with her “new friends.” I feel completely left out and I really miss having my best friend around. How can I confront her, without her thinking I am jealous of her new life and friends?
A. The first step you should do is get to know her “new friends.” However, make sure you are cautious when doing this. She may think you are trying to intrude in her personal life. Don’t invite yourself on their outings, but let them invite you. Maybe once they get to know you, they will think of you more as a friend of theirs instead of just your best friend’s roommate.
Make an effort to be more involved with her life. Ask her if she wants to catch the latest chick flick with you or join you for a fun day of shopping. If you’re lucky enough to have her pencil you in her overloaded planner, make the most out of the time you two spend together. Reminisce on the past memories you two have shared together, while you two were such good friends. Make new memories, too. Catch up on each other’s lives. If everything goes well, ask her if you can agree on a certain time a week where you two can hang out together.
You two probably have really busy lives, so eating dinner together every now and then could be a really great start. When the time is right, tell her that you miss hanging out with her. If it is really bothering you, ask her why she doesn’t include you in her life anymore.
If you two happen to have an awkward time together while hanging out, it is probably best that you move on. Life changes, and so do friendships. Friendships come and go every day. She has moved on and made new friends, so maybe you should, too.
Talk to your R.A. and request for a room change. Changing rooms would be a great start to making new friends. There are many campus organizations to choose from. You can meet many people through campus organizations. If repairing you and your former best friend’s friendship is not worth a shot, don’t mope around; do something about it. There are more than 15,000 students on this campus. You don’t need just the same old best friend.
Refer to the old-fashioned saying used in relationships. You can also relate this saying to friendships, too: “There are plenty more fish in the sea.”
Michelle Clark is a senior in elementary education. Send your relationship questions to [email protected].