Thanks to the rise in popularity of make-over television, the ever-popular idea of new year resolutions has taken on new meaning. However, instead of making over a face, taking off 10 years or overhauling a house, there are some of us who are in need of a much different kind of makeover.
There is a stigma that I believe many black women are ready to dispel. Out of the many representations of black women that are out there, the stereotypical outspoken and argumentative nature seems to have the firmest grip in our minds. While this is the “can do” age, with many black women assuming roles from mother to business partner, the most unflattering and divisive beliefs about black women continue to thrive. The way black women are portrayed in the public eye is both outdated and uncouth, and it is time for a new beginning–a clean sweep for the black woman.
Almost every black leading lady in recent films has had more or less the same personality: strong-willed, overbearing and even callous. Hollywood continues to indulge in this stereotypical view of black women, which only makes the multifaceted and emotional aspects of our personality harder to reveal.
Even Halle Berry, who seems to be the only black American actress to assume other roles besides the banal, tyrannical black woman, said in one interview that “Hollywood needs to have more black leading ladies and needs to integrate films a lot more.” She added that the current range of movies and character roles that black females receive is not only limited but also depressing.
Unfortunately, this view of black women is not only perpetuated by people in Hollywood but also by black women themselves. According to one author, we praise the “Strong Black Woman” mentality so that “we are ingenious, confident, sassy and bold.” This frequently misunderstood audaciousness, combined with the belief that we have the ability to independently overcome any obstacle, has become the essence of the strong black woman and is another reason for people’s inability to move away from the idea that we cannot be understanding, caring and, if the situation calls for it, submissive.
Angela Neal-Barnett, a highly praised psychologist and faculty member at Kent State University, said that while there is a uniqueness and desirability to the strong black woman persona, “there are drawbacks, perhaps the biggest being that many women who see themselves as strong black women will keep on keeping on even when they know they should stop.”
I believe this is partially what led to the recent incident at the Knicks vs. Bulls game in Chicago. Kendra Davis, wife of NBA Knicks player Antonio Davis, was in a verbal confrontation with a fan from the opposing team. Feeling offended and disrespected by the fan’s comments, she did what any respectable “Strong Black Woman” would do-she tried to get back the respect that she felt she had lost.
When asked by reporters why she didn’t call security, Davis admitted that she should have. However, she said, “I think I taught my kids that you stand up for yourself.”
While I agree with both Antonio and Kendra Davis’ concern about the situation with the fan, I believe the situation wouldn’t have escalated the way it did had Davis employed another method of dealing with the situation: keeping her husband from feeling the need to help her in the stands, thereby keeping him in the next five games he is now suspended from.
If we are to truly get past feeling the need to act a certain way, we have to address the issue from every venue. There is already a tendency to assume black women’s assertive actions are motivated by our haughty and quarrelsome demeanor, and many people fail to recognize circumstantial causes of behavior, choosing to attribute everything to our intrinsic obstinacy.
However, we can be and are very compromising and rationale human beings just like everyone else. It is also important that we try not to push the idea that black women must either be strong or submissive because this is incompatible with true human character.
The most important feature of a black woman or any human is character. When that is challenged, unclear or misconstrued because of outdated beliefs and stereotypes, we miss out on experiencing the fullness and diversity of human relationships. Taking a moment to consciously avoid the stereotyping of black women will open us up to a new level of communication with a world of possibilities.