Several days ago, I woke up to the phone ringing at a very early hour. In my experience, this is never a good sign. And it was not this time, either.
Death is never welcome news, and there I was faced with it again. A woman who meant a lot to me had finally lost her battle with cancer. And because I am so hard to track down, I missed the funeral, too.
Needless to say, I grieved. I was heartbroken. I felt waves of guilt wash over me because I did not go to see her before she died. I always thought, “I will make that trip next month; I am just too busy right now.”
Well, now there are no more “next months.” I ran out of time, and I can never say goodbye.
Now I am not going to say that she did not know that I loved her. I am sure she did. But the point is, I did not make the time to go and tell her that before she left me forever. And I have to live with that.
Why is it that no matter how many times we are warned not to take our loved ones for granted, we do it anyway? Then when it is too late, we cry, scream and berate ourselves for our carelessness.
A hundred songs, poems and stories have told us, in no uncertain terms, that until we lose something, we do not fully appreciate it. What is it about human nature that makes us so blind?
Or are we not truly blind, but only grieving? Maybe we always do appreciate our loved ones, but then when they are gone, we feel like we should have had more time. So while we feel sorry for ourselves, we think of all the things we should have done.
Unfortunately, by this point, the things we should have done no longer matter. Then why are they so important to us? What we should focus on is celebrating life.
Grieving is important, yes, but only for a while. We cannot get dragged down in our sorrow. Remembering life is worth so much more. Savoring memories of our loved ones is also a much better use of energy. And at some point in time, we have to let go.
Letting go may be the hardest part of losing a loved one. It seems too much like forgetting. But it is not. Letting go is simply letting life go on. And when we learn to let go, we let go of some of the pain, too.
Accepting the loss of someone we love is not easy for any of us. We fear death, and that is understandable. But we also give it so much power over our lives. When we lose someone, it becomes so hard for us to focus on the life they led.
Losing people is inevitable in life. We all have to accept it. The only thing we can do is hold tight to the ones we love while they are here, and remember them when they are not.
But do not wait to tell those you care about how you feel. You never know when your time will run out.