True friends can love anyone
This letter is in reply to Zita Magloire’s article, “Dishonest friendships harm self-esteem.” It’s always easy to walk away than to address the problem, but in the long run, one might lose the inestimable treasure.
In today’s social environment, every acquaintance who we have fun with, rather than the one who is truthful, is considered a friend, and that makes it difficult to locate a true friend. Are we really that honest and unselfish to label only fun to a friendship?
Most of us are aware of Facebook. Many of us will have hundreds of friends in our list, but do we truly mean for them to be our friends? If they are our true friends, why do we need a Web site to be in touch with them? Why can’t we make time to share things with our friends and remember them like we do with our family members? Why would a person have to go to a Web site to get the information about the friend?
In reality, Facebook is only necessary to be in contact with fun acquaintances-the people for whom we cannot make time and want to go away. But they are labeled as friends. If any of them asks for the extra favor that causes us trouble or takes up our space, he/she shall be deemed as unfriendly in nature.
It’s true we should be aware of the “needy friend” or “control freak,” but depending on the circumstances, person may become needy in one form or the other. But if we’re truly friendly to them, did we ever try to address this issue and understand them before labeling them as “needy” and walking away from them? In most cases the answer would be “no” because it’s easier to ditch people than to deal with them.
In such cases, I would consider a person not being a true friend because he/she decided to walk away when people needed help from him/her. Isn’t it considered selfish to ditch a person because he/she failed to consider your true needs and feelings at the time? The act performed by “control freaks” is unlovable all the time, but friends give love even when someone is unlovable. Actually, friends acknowledge that something is amiss and needs to be fixed.
Good, true or dishonest are the only adjectives associated with friendship. If we are honest, and friendship is based on commitment, trust, sacrifice and respect (not only fun), one is likely to have a friendship that will not require any adjectives. The friendship would last forever and save us from the betrayals and lies.
Vijay Shah is a graduate student in electrical engineering. He can be reached at [email protected].