It’s been a long, hard spring at the movies for this critic.
After last year’s Oscar hopefuls stopped trickling into theaters in January, there was little left to tidemovie fans over until the end of the semester. For three months, it’s been nothing but kids fare (“Ice Age: The Meltdown,” “Doogal”), rom-coms (“Failure to Launch,” “She’s the Man”), failed thrillers (“Firewall,” “Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction”), Z-grade horror (“Stay Alive,” “Final Destination 3”), gross-out comedy (“Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector,” “Date Movie”), and one high-profile disappointment after another (“Lucky Number Slevin,” “Inside Man”).
“V for Vendetta” was an event movie that mostly delivered, and “Thank You For Smoking” was a smart indie that could please a mainstream audience. There was little else showing, however, that this critic could even muster the willpower to go out and see.
But enough bellyaching. With the end of another school year comes the tried-and-true savior to any depressed film enthusiast’s springtime blues–the summer movie season.
No matter what your blockbuster of choice is, there’s something for every taste.
Horror fans can look forward to “An American Haunting” (friday), “See No Evil” (May 19) and the dead-talk-back chiller “Pulse” (July 14), while the little ones can have a less frightening good time at “Hoot” (Friday) and the animated “Over the Hedge” (May 19).
2004’s “Garfield” gets a sequel called “A Tale of Two Kitties” (June 23), and “The Fast and the Furious” franchise becomes an unlikely trilogy with “Tokyo Drift” (June 16). Also, fans of remakes get a rehashed version of the satanic thriller “The Omen” (June 6), which has the marketing boon of opening on the sixth day of the sixth month of the year 2006, or 6/6/06.
Tweens get to choose between Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff in “Just My Luck” (May 12) and “Material Girls” (August 25), while older romantics can set dates with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in “The Lake House” (June 16), “Trust the Man” (August 18) and the comedic Jennifer Aniston-Vince Vaughn coupling “The Break-Up” (June 2).
There’ll be at least two inspirational sports dramas–the true-life football saga “Invincible” (August 25) and the soccer-themed “Goal!” (May 12)–and Oliver Stone’s 9/11 opus “World Trade Center,” which is being released, not so coincidentally, on August 11.
Comedy fans can get their yuks from “You, Me and Dupree” (July 14), the Adam Sandler fantasy “Click” (June 23) and Broken Lizard’s “Beerfest” (August 25), and they can get their yucks from the lowbrow Wayans Brothers vehicle “Little Man.”
Filmgoers with snootier tastes need not worry, either. Woody Allen has “Scoop” coming out on July 28, Pedro Almodovar has “Volver” (June 23) and Kevin Smith unleashes “Clerks II” (August 18).
There’s also “Twelve and Holding” (May 19) a coming-of-age drama from frequent “Six Feet Under” director Michael Cuesta, and “Factotum” (August 18), an adaptation of a Charles Bukowski novel starring Matt Dillon as a Los Angeles lowlife drifting from woman to woman and bottle to bottle.
And there are documentaries covering everything from John Lennon to crossword puzzles to Al Gore in “The U.S. Vs. John Lennon” (August 4), “Wordplay” (June 16) and “An Inconvenient Truth” (May 24).
Here’s a list of the top 20 summer movies this critic can’t wait to see:
20. “Strangers with Candy” (June 28)–The cult television comedy gets a transfer to the big screen with original cast members in tow, plus big-name co-stars like Sarah Jessica Parker and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
19. “Poseidon” (May 12)–Wolfgang Petersen remakes “The Poseidon Adventure.” Big budget disaster film or just big budget disaster?
18. “Down in the Valley” (May 5)–A moody independent film with Edward Norton as a man who thinks he’s a cowboy and Evan Rachel Wood as the object of his unbalanced affection.
17. “Idlewild” (August 25)–A Prohibition-era Outkast musical? You know you want to find out for yourself if it’s brilliant or a train wreck.
16. “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (August 4)–Will Ferrell reconnects with “Anchorman” director Adam McKay for what looks like a sidesplitting romp through NASCAR country.
15. “The Da Vinci Code” (May 19)–Others might be more anxious to see this big screen adaptation of the worldwide bestseller, but this critic has a bad track record with dark, religious thrillers. For every “The Exorcist,” there are forty more like “The Order.”
14. “Little Miss Sunshine” (July 28)–A hit at Sundance, this quirky comedy features GregKinnear, Toni Collette and Steve Carrell as members of a dysfunctional family on a road trip to take the youngest daughter to a youth beauty pageant.
13. “Art School Confidential” (Friday)–Director Terry Zwigoff reenters “Ghost World” territory with this story of a young man’s immersion in the off-center world of art school. After “Bad Santa,” I’d follow Zwigoff anywhere.
12. “Cars” (June 9)–PIXAR is back to rake in the megabucks, with mass appeal to spare. Children are already chomping at the bit, and parents will surely enjoy the iconic rasp of Paul Newman as a talking cartoon automobile.
11. “Mission: Impossible III” (Friday)–So the first two weren’t very good, but the previews make this one look dynamite. And Philip Seymour Hoffman and J.J. Abrams can’t possibly be bad additions.
10. “A Prairie Home Companion” (June 9)–Robert Altman’s all-star comedy has everyone from Garrison Keillor to Lindsay Lohan in the cast.
9. “Nacho Libre” (June 16)–The creator of “Napoleon Dynamite” takes another shot at instant pop culture domination with Jack Black as a noble priest trying to save an orphanage by becoming a Mexican wrestler.
8. “A Scanner Darkly” (July 7)–One of the summer’s true oddities, this futuristic Philip K. Dick tale stars Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder in filmed peformances inked over by animators.
7. “X-Men: The Last Stand” (May 26)–Part two was great, but Bryan Singer has flown the coop for Metropolis. Can “Rush Hour” director Brett Rattner keep Wolverine’s metal claws sharp?
6. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (July 7)–The original “Pirates” film was a sleeper smash that launched Captain Jack Sparrow as a film icon for the new millennium. Can lightning strike twice? Or a third time, since installments two and three were filmed back to back?
5. “Lady in the Water” (July 21)–Odd-numbered M. Night Shyamalan films are the good ones, so here’s hoping this creepy “bedtime story” doesn’t disappoint. Paul Giamatti stars as a schlubby apartment super who discovers something out of the ordinary in his complex’s swimming pool.
4. “Snakes on a Plane” (August 18)–The title says it all. Samuel L. Jackson versus a whole bunch of nasty snakes on a plane. Already an Internet phenomenon, the film was recently re-shot to get a hard R rating, complete with gorier deaths and gratuitous nudity.
3. “Miami Vice” (July 28)–Call me crazy, but this is going to be good. It’s not the stars or the source material or the kitsch factor that’ll get me in line for this one. It’s Michael Mann.
2. “The Science of Sleep” (August 18)–“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” director Michel Gondry returns sans Charlie Kaufman for this loopy visual rollercoaster about a young man (Gael Garcia Bernal) who gets trapped in the world of his dreams.
1. “Superman Returns” (June 30)–Leave it to Bryan Singer to get the Man of Steel franchise reinvigorated and looking better than ever. Newcomer Brandon Routh dons the blue and red tights, Kevin Spacey does bald and menacing as Lex Luthor and Kate Bosworth goes brunette as Lois Lane. The previews make this one look like the summer film to beat them all. It’s more powerful than a locomotive, an overturned cruise liner and a plane loaded with snakes.

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The Man of Steel (Brandon Routh) prepares to kiss Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) in "Superman Returns."