Obesity. It seems to be all the rage these days. Adults are doing it. The kids are doing it. Even the elderly are in on this hot, new style. And I can’t blame them. Why, you ask? Because we all must suffer for fashion.
Unfortunately, the Alabama State Employees’ Insurance Board isn’t quite as keen to this trend. Although I wouldn’t normally be concerned with the opinions of a lame insurance board, I couldn’t help but notice their latest hi-jinks.
Apparently, these guys are planning to impose a supposed “fat tax” on Alabama state employees. The employees will be subjected to various medical tests beginning in January of next year. Those who suffer from obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or high glucose will have one year to improve their health. Those who do not will be punished with a $25 increase to their monthly insurance costs.
I’m not sure what to think about this plan. Personally, as a morbidly obese American with a disproportionately thin head, I can’t stand the thought of being coerced into a specific lifestyle. However, I also can’t overlook the extra health care expenses that each of the several hundred superfluous pounds on my morbidly obese body generates.
Nonetheless, Alabama officials claim that the tax will serve as a catalyst for change, and it will eventually result in a fitter and happier workforce. They even plan to help by offering programs such as Weight Watchers and by providing discounts for YMCA membership.
Even considering all of this, surely there are better ways to motivate these employees. Maybe you could reward the healthy ones with monetary bonuses or time off, rather than punishing the unhealthy. Perhaps some sort of televised competition would be appropriate. I don’t know. Anything is better than a fat tax, though.
Of course, some might argue that any program would be inappropriate or discriminatory. It all does sound a little bit totalitarian, right? I mean, especially considering that Alabama isn’t even the fattest state. It’s number two. I’m not sure which state is the fattest, by the way, but they should probably be ashamed of themselves.
I’m not even sure that this tax will result in lower obesity rates. According to one Alabama state official, obese people cost $1,748 more in health care per year on average than their skinnier counterparts.
But here’s the thing: That money has to come from somewhere. Likely that somewhere is the pockets of skinny people. And in my opinion, this is the ironic cycle that will never allow these skinny individuals to experience the luxury of being obese, thus maintaining the delicate obesity balance that we see today.
In any case, it does look like this plan will be implemented soon. So get ready, obese Alabama. You have just over a year to lose the weight or pay the price. My advice is to start saving your money now.
Robert Scribner is a graduate student majoring in business administration. He can be contacted at [email protected].