If Facebook were a drug, we’d all be abusers. I don’t even feel the need to substantiate this claim with statistics, but there are more than a few that scare me. In 2011, 48 percent of 18 to 34 year olds checked Facebook before having breakfast.
Facebook users reached a total population that was only out-matched by two countries.
We collectively spent over 700 billion minutes a month on it.
While I’ve heard several rumors this particular social cult is on the decline, the reality is we remain hopelessly addicted.
But is this really a problem? Aren’t social media sites just tools to assist us in our ever- evolving society? I’m a little more skeptical.
I think our widespread use of tools like Facebook have launched a paradigm shift in the way we do relationships.
I think we are beginning to replace authentic relationship for a virtual one; we are equating “friends” for community, “likes” for affection and comments for dialogue.
We are starving our souls from these meaningful relational functions.
To understand this, I think we all need to remember Facebook isn’t real. It’s virtual. It’s not me chatting with a friend, it’s a projection of me – a purely digital, prettied up, shadow of me. There is no personal presence or human element involved.
We have exchanged the glow of a real face for the glow of a computer screen. And this constant diet of virtual interaction has supplanted our appetite for the real thing; we would rather instant message than sit down for coffee.
This absence of human presence prevents us from having thriving relationships. We miss out on the intimacy that exists within real face- to-face dialogue.
We lose the flux of voices, those fleeting aesthetic moments of unity, which seem to invigorate our relationships.
What we’re left with are silent and semi-personal utterances, devoid of any real relational significance.
We also forgo the value of non-verbal language. A teary eye, a calming touch and a curious face all carry communicational and emotional force, which is meaningless on Facebook.
All of these wonderful things require us to actually be present. I think we would all agree a visit from a friend is better than an encouraging Facebook message.
Now please don’t misunderstand me. Facebook does have value. It’s not inherently wrong. It’s a unique tool for starting relationships, raising awareness for issues and staying connected with people who are removed from our lives.
 The Arab Spring proves this, as do soldiers who use instant messaging and Skype to talk with family members back home.
But that’s just it – Facebook is merely a tool.
So when it comes to our relationships, Facebook can only be used to complement them, not replace them. We need to recognize this and fight to keep social media from becoming a barrier.
And I know Facebook is here to stay. I’m not asking us to delete our accounts, as if it would even allow us to do so. It is what it is.
We will all continue to use it, and I guess we shouldn’t really be all that surprised because our love for Facebook only describes our need for relationships. It seems we were created for them.
But does the tough work involved in doing real life with real people to get those deep, lasting relationships push us to chase the quick fixes Facebook affords? Are we too easily satisfied?