A government textbook would tell me that there is currently a race going on. It would say it’s a race between many noble politicians who love America so deeply they will selflessly take on Barack Obama for the position of President of the United States.
They will cordially compete against each other with nothing but class and utmost respect. They will debate with wisdom so great that Socrates would blush. Finally, this would be because we are America, the greatest nation on earth, and our political system trumps every system those backwards countries could devise. I suppose that’s the way it should be. What actually happens is quite a different tale.
Want to know what I’ve actually gathered from the primaries? Newt Gingrich cheated on his wife! What a bastard! But at least he did it for America. That Romney guy, on the other hand, is a Jesus-hating Mormon who doesn’t pay as much in taxes as he should. He might have even tried to hide that money in foreign banks and securities. What a thrifty bastard! Also, Ron Paul is so old that he’s eroding; Michelle Bachmann is the definition of “crazy;” Rick Santorum could be gay; Herman Cain harassed more women than Kobe and Rick Perry posted the least-liked video in YouTube history. I use that long paragraph to illustrate a point: these politicians practically spend more time mudslinging than they do making real points. I bet bullies are brought to court for less than what these candidates do daily.
Why do they do it? It seems all this name-calling serves the politicians. If they can make voters lose faith in their opponent, perhaps they can squeeze out a victory. Right now, the race is a measure of character and campaign budget, and the “best man” is going to win.
Time is also spent debating political ideas, but the candidates always seem to spin it to the chagrin of their opponent. It’s much easier to deflect a question than to answer it directly, and politicians have been infamously doing this for years. When a candidate can’t build himself up, at least he tears down his opponent, right?
The better question is this: why do we let politicians do it? That question is a bit more difficult to answer. We don’t exactly give them permission to, but we don’t try to stop them, either. I think the real reason is this: we love it. We watch these debates like we watch “Jersey Shore.” It’s like watching a verbal version of the WWE. Every time, I subconsciously waited for Bachmann to break down and cry. If I’m lucky, maybe Romney and Gingrich will take the phrase “political pugilism” to the literal sense. I actually popped a bag of popcorn for the Iowa debates. These primaries have been reality TV at its finest.
More importantly, is all of this good for America? I find the answer to be a resounding “no.” I’ve lost faith in every single candidate. I had a brilliant history teacher back in high school who once said something like, “the winner of a political election is the person who can piss off the least amount of people,” and I’m starting to see that now. All of this mudslinging, this deconstructive criticism, will leave a crippled republican nominee to face Obama. Obama’s major criticism in this election will surely be the horrible budget over the past few years. But, wait, Romney isn’t a Christian? Well he surely can’t win then. I hope the GOP sees how self-inflicted its wounds are. When Romney loses, you can thank the rest of the party.
The longer this goes on, the more distant our leaders become. I didn’t make over $40 million in the past two years, but Romney did. I can’t relate to that. Nor have I been married three times like Gingrich. These may be pertinent character points, but they are distancing themselves from the public. Capitol Hill is getting taller.
The American political machine is ugly, and we’ve all become victims. So much for the government textbook.